Two Writers Rambling – Tips for writing First Person

Two Writers Rambling – Tips for writing First Person

 

Maybe it’s just me, but I seem to be seeing another mass wave of published books coming across my news feed where the authors are largely uneducated in basic writing rules. I’m never one to discourage writing, but I am one to call out blatant mistakes if you’re planning to publish. Because if you’re making them, you’re not ready to publish. Now before anyone gets disgruntled and their feathers ruffled, hear me out.

(mostly) Writes write because they love to write and have a story to tell. But publishing isn’t done for fun, and regardless of what your reasons are, it’s a business. You’d never open a restaurant if you had cockroaches crawling up the floor, right?

SO I’ve decided to start sharing some write tips Take them with a grain of salt if you wish, but I hope you take them to your writing. First up – common mistakes made when writing in First Person.

 

To start here are some examples of the various writing perspectives:

First Person

(there is actually even a snip of second person in it)

Second Person

(when the story or character talks to ‘you’ and often in reference to the ‘reader’. This is intermittent with First person)

Third Person

(third person with a finishing quip in second person addressed as ‘who’)

 

 

SOME TIPS FOR WRITING IN FIRST PERSON:

Writing in First person can be a great POV to work from. It gives you so much more access to the recess of your character’s mind than writing in any other form, but it comes at a price. In first person you cannot know what any of the other characters are thinking, you also can’t know what they are doing outside of line of view. Doing so is a form of distant perception and unlike first person distant perception in which only falls under poor writing, 2nd person distant perception can’t even take place realistically unless your character is a telepath. For this article we’re going to leave all telepaths and hidden overhead mirrors out of the argument.

While most writers, even novices, do well to not cross that first line of scrimmage; it’s the second one that gets ignore far too often.  Here are some erroneous examples plucked randomly out of teasers I’ve seen lately:

~  *  ~

EX 1: “No, I am reading,” I whined and he reached down and took my kindle. “Hey that is grounds for divorce,” I shouted as he read over the first paragraph on the page I was on.

While there are a number of things wrong with the sentence I’m only going to address the second person distant perception: ‘He read the first paragraph’. He did? How do you know? Were his lips moving? There are no overhead mirrors (**refer to rule above).

This may seem like a small offense, but where there is one there are others. What’s happening here is this. Unless the 2nd character read allowed or told the First person he’d read the first paragraph the FP can’t possibly know what part the 2ndP read if they read it at all.

So how to fix this.

ONE SUGGESTION: “No, I am reading,” I whined when he grabbed the kindle from my hands. “Hey that is grounds for divorce,” I shouted as his eyes appeared to scan over its contents.

~  *  ~

EX 2: I waited out in the truck, digging for a cigarette to pass time while John went around the corner to take a leak behind a dumpster and play target practice with the rats crawling about.

Here the line of scrimmage came in the form of a large wall or building, yet the author still managed to give x-ray vision to the MC enabling them to see through walls and around corners where he somehow knew his buddy was using his yellow squirt gun to shoots rats. Really?

ONE SUGGESTION: I waited out in the truck while John went around the corner to take a leak. When he didn’t come back right away I started digging around for a cigarette. It shouldn’t have taken this long, but knowing him he was probably back there making target practice on the rats, because he was that much of an asshole.

This helps lessens the distant perception by turning it into a self-suggestive possibility based on the assumption the MC knows his friend rather well.

~  *  ~

EX 3:  Jackson’s hand hovered over the rook, then withdrew to scrub at his chin. He wouldn’t look at me, wondering if he could risk a cheating move using his bishop to D-3 to corner my knight and I wouldn’t catch it. He’d be wrong.

What he’s like all up in the other character’s head block. Thing is the FP can’t possibly know what they are thinking, (**telepathy is not allowed see rules above) certainly not to this point, no matter how much the two characters might know each other. The FP might be able to read several expressions and there for speculate with only a margin of error what ‘might’ be going on the 2nd character’s head, but even that should be clarified.

ONE SUGGESTION:  Jackson’s hand hovered over the rook, then he withdrew to scrub at his chin. He wouldn’t look at me. He had to know he was stuck and I wondered if he was the sort who might consider cheating. Because the only way out would be to do so. But if he thought he could get away with it… he’d be wrong.

 

 

Perspectives are boundaries that really need to be respected in storytelling, no matter what genre you write.  Breaking them only shows the reader that in order to get your story written, you cut corners rather than fleshing the story out so that l characters and elements were contained within their own perceptions. This is the lazy way out and with poor writing quality.

So when writing in First Person remember that your character can—

Only know what is going on in their own head – unless they’re telepathically mind probing


Can only speculate facial expressions – the more the FP know a person the more expression that might recognize, but they would not have that same familiarity with a stranger or someone they just recently met.


Can only see what is in front of them – unless they are superman with x-ray vision


Can only know of events they have been informed of – In other words, they can’t possibly know the Intergalactic space villains are plotting an attack on their home world unless their spies came back or sent word of it.

 

HAPPY WRITING