Control Z
Mommy's Hiding in the Treehouse--- With a Glass of Merlot
Parenting Tip: Be willing to laugh at yourself and your kids when things are totally crazy.
You know those days when you wish you could type "Control Z" and start all over? It would be nice if you could forget the mean words you’ve shouted or make more time for precious moments that fade so quickly.
How great to “Control Z” a big spill right after we’ve mopped the kitchen floor. But life isn't like that; we have to deal with the tricky moments as they come—and to do it gracefully when possible.
Yesterday was a chaotic downward spiral of parenting failures and defeats. No one would blame me for feeling insane. In fact, many of my impatient and frustrated responses were fully merited, as all three kids had temporarily turned into psychotic little green aliens.
Right from the start, my middle child didn't get something she wanted and dramatically announced how she wanted to die and then responded by hiding inside of a pillow to punish me. Next, we were off to return a video and to drive through the car wash.
My toddler became terrified of the car wash so I tried to reverse out of the tunnel but couldn’t. So after five long minutes of my daughter's terrified howls, our mossy green minivan was clean.
Five minutes later, we arrived at the park to get some fresh air. The kids played nicely on the red and blue play set and there was a moment of peace. But then, my two older kids decided to sprint through the sprinklers while fully clothed, which was less than ideal because I hadn't packed swimsuits or towels.
It was time to head back to the van, but on the way, my youngest child covered herself in mud from several falls in the wet grass. After dealing with her, I realized the other two were sprinting toward a busy road near the parking lot, so I yelled like a wild hyena, hoping they wouldn’t get hit by a car.
With my luck, there were only extra sweaters and socks in the car, so we decided to head home. The library had to be postponed, as did any remnants of my sanity. Later in the day, the unending saga of chaos continued, as my middle daughter figured out how to turn the stove on by herself. Thankfully, I noticed the mischievous act quickly and avoided methane gas poisoning.
In the early evening, we decided to go on a walk, where my sweet Labrador flattened my poor middle child and barely avoided a fight with an unruly bulldog. That was really minor though compared to my dog pooping on the only lawn that had its owners standing out front and the embarrassment of my youngest daughter then playing in the poop while I apologized to the neighbors.
When my middle child started peeling bird poop off of a green city post up ahead, I wondered why I'd thought a walk was such a brilliant idea in the first place. You know those days when you think locking yourselves in the closet for the day would have been preferable? This was one of those days. If only I'd had the vampire, Jasper, from the Twilight books there to calm me down with his uncanny ability to comfort.
After seemingly endless hours of my kids' whining and bickering, along with a series of disastrous messes, as if a desert sandstorm had attacked my house, we were ready for some dinner. To say the least, I was not about to add to the mountain of dishes in the sink, so I made an SOS call to Little Caesar's.
I was longing for some peace, though it didn't arrive until later that night. After a two hour attempt to get my wild children to bed, I finally collapsed onto the couch next to my loving husband, where I unloaded the horrors of the day.
"Sometimes you're the lemon and sometimes you're the lemonade. Sometimes you're the bug and sometimes you're the windshield." We've heard these adages before and they occasionally carry a weight of humor to them, but not when you're the lemon making the lemonade or the bug disgracefully decorating the windshield with your own guts.
Yesterday, I was the lemon and the bug. But, today is a new day. We must press on as parents realizing that our best is all that we can give. And each day, we have a choice, to let the stress get us down or to laugh so hard that we cry. I choose to laugh and cry!
--------------------------------------------
Excerpt is essay #17 from Mommy's Hiding in the Treehouse, an e-book of 31 humorous parenting essays and tips. This digital title is available on Amazon for $1 and is free for Prime members.
Dianne Bright wrote for Scholastic's Parent & Child magazine and blog for two years before delving into fiction. Soul Reader is her first fantasy/sci-fi novel, which is currently being offered in a #free goodreads' giveaway under #fantasy.
Parenting Tip: Be willing to laugh at yourself and your kids when things are totally crazy.
You know those days when you wish you could type "Control Z" and start all over? It would be nice if you could forget the mean words you’ve shouted or make more time for precious moments that fade so quickly.
How great to “Control Z” a big spill right after we’ve mopped the kitchen floor. But life isn't like that; we have to deal with the tricky moments as they come—and to do it gracefully when possible.
Yesterday was a chaotic downward spiral of parenting failures and defeats. No one would blame me for feeling insane. In fact, many of my impatient and frustrated responses were fully merited, as all three kids had temporarily turned into psychotic little green aliens.
Right from the start, my middle child didn't get something she wanted and dramatically announced how she wanted to die and then responded by hiding inside of a pillow to punish me. Next, we were off to return a video and to drive through the car wash.
My toddler became terrified of the car wash so I tried to reverse out of the tunnel but couldn’t. So after five long minutes of my daughter's terrified howls, our mossy green minivan was clean.
Five minutes later, we arrived at the park to get some fresh air. The kids played nicely on the red and blue play set and there was a moment of peace. But then, my two older kids decided to sprint through the sprinklers while fully clothed, which was less than ideal because I hadn't packed swimsuits or towels.
It was time to head back to the van, but on the way, my youngest child covered herself in mud from several falls in the wet grass. After dealing with her, I realized the other two were sprinting toward a busy road near the parking lot, so I yelled like a wild hyena, hoping they wouldn’t get hit by a car.
With my luck, there were only extra sweaters and socks in the car, so we decided to head home. The library had to be postponed, as did any remnants of my sanity. Later in the day, the unending saga of chaos continued, as my middle daughter figured out how to turn the stove on by herself. Thankfully, I noticed the mischievous act quickly and avoided methane gas poisoning.
In the early evening, we decided to go on a walk, where my sweet Labrador flattened my poor middle child and barely avoided a fight with an unruly bulldog. That was really minor though compared to my dog pooping on the only lawn that had its owners standing out front and the embarrassment of my youngest daughter then playing in the poop while I apologized to the neighbors.
When my middle child started peeling bird poop off of a green city post up ahead, I wondered why I'd thought a walk was such a brilliant idea in the first place. You know those days when you think locking yourselves in the closet for the day would have been preferable? This was one of those days. If only I'd had the vampire, Jasper, from the Twilight books there to calm me down with his uncanny ability to comfort.
After seemingly endless hours of my kids' whining and bickering, along with a series of disastrous messes, as if a desert sandstorm had attacked my house, we were ready for some dinner. To say the least, I was not about to add to the mountain of dishes in the sink, so I made an SOS call to Little Caesar's.
I was longing for some peace, though it didn't arrive until later that night. After a two hour attempt to get my wild children to bed, I finally collapsed onto the couch next to my loving husband, where I unloaded the horrors of the day.
"Sometimes you're the lemon and sometimes you're the lemonade. Sometimes you're the bug and sometimes you're the windshield." We've heard these adages before and they occasionally carry a weight of humor to them, but not when you're the lemon making the lemonade or the bug disgracefully decorating the windshield with your own guts.
Yesterday, I was the lemon and the bug. But, today is a new day. We must press on as parents realizing that our best is all that we can give. And each day, we have a choice, to let the stress get us down or to laugh so hard that we cry. I choose to laugh and cry!
--------------------------------------------
Excerpt is essay #17 from Mommy's Hiding in the Treehouse, an e-book of 31 humorous parenting essays and tips. This digital title is available on Amazon for $1 and is free for Prime members.
Dianne Bright wrote for Scholastic's Parent & Child magazine and blog for two years before delving into fiction. Soul Reader is her first fantasy/sci-fi novel, which is currently being offered in a #free goodreads' giveaway under #fantasy.
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