One day in my marriage we had a conversation.

Me: I don't know what a 'suicide pool' is...

Sweetie: Oh I know what that is. One of the ladies in my class told me. It's where you take a bucket of water and you put a board on the end of it up to like a rock wall and put seeds on it in a line, and then the animal eats the seeds and falls into the bucket and drowns. The lady who did it got like 2 chipmunks one day and 10 mice the next.

NOTE: SHE WAS SMILING.

Me: I was talking about a football pool, and now I am as sad as I have ever been.