SROP New Year Predictions for 2016
Yes, it's that time of year again when the furry faced folks at SROP make a few annual predictions... Here is an amazing crop of events that you won't want to miss.
On October 17, the planet Saturn will come to a screeching halt. Astronomers will be baffled, and pundits will say it's a hoax. Meanwhile, incomprehensible chaos will ensue in the outer solar system, and the planet's flock of newly lost moons continue to wander aimlessly for years. Look for spectacular smash-ups and near-Earth encounters sometime early in the next millennium.
The planet Mercury will go into full retrograde on January 5, but nobody will notice anything awry except for two mice in Waterville, Washington who will leap from a second story window into the snow.
The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia will be overrun with a mysterious plague of leeches on June 9, as flood waters rise, and nobody will have any idea what to do about the situation for weeks.
Only a few days later, on June 15, Burj Khalifa, the tallestpenis building in Dubai, will mysteriously wilt. Jokes about a Viagra shortage will circulate for a few days.
On September 23, at 4:14 pm in London, Ringo Starr will ascend to heaven on a sparkly moonbeam. Hundreds of witnesses with mobile phone cameras rolling will swear that he flipped open a communication device and asked to be beamed up only moments before disappearing.
New, mysterious letters from Ada Lovelace to a hitherto unknown correspondent named Juanita will surface on July 7, but the contents will be kept under wraps for national security reasons. The tabloids will rush to print the back story, but nothing will come of it. Less than 30 days later, however, the letters will be purchased at auction for a mere 17,000 pounds, and the buyer will burn them, unread, in Trafalgar Square before a live audience. The nine minute video record will garner more than 23 million Youtube hits over the next four days.
And... We thought about making sales predictions for 2016, but sales are more unpredictable than ever, so we'll restrain our impulse to go wild.
Be sure to come back here on December 31 to see how we did!
On October 17, the planet Saturn will come to a screeching halt. Astronomers will be baffled, and pundits will say it's a hoax. Meanwhile, incomprehensible chaos will ensue in the outer solar system, and the planet's flock of newly lost moons continue to wander aimlessly for years. Look for spectacular smash-ups and near-Earth encounters sometime early in the next millennium.
The planet Mercury will go into full retrograde on January 5, but nobody will notice anything awry except for two mice in Waterville, Washington who will leap from a second story window into the snow.
The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia will be overrun with a mysterious plague of leeches on June 9, as flood waters rise, and nobody will have any idea what to do about the situation for weeks.
Only a few days later, on June 15, Burj Khalifa, the tallest
On September 23, at 4:14 pm in London, Ringo Starr will ascend to heaven on a sparkly moonbeam. Hundreds of witnesses with mobile phone cameras rolling will swear that he flipped open a communication device and asked to be beamed up only moments before disappearing.
New, mysterious letters from Ada Lovelace to a hitherto unknown correspondent named Juanita will surface on July 7, but the contents will be kept under wraps for national security reasons. The tabloids will rush to print the back story, but nothing will come of it. Less than 30 days later, however, the letters will be purchased at auction for a mere 17,000 pounds, and the buyer will burn them, unread, in Trafalgar Square before a live audience. The nine minute video record will garner more than 23 million Youtube hits over the next four days.
And... We thought about making sales predictions for 2016, but sales are more unpredictable than ever, so we'll restrain our impulse to go wild.
Be sure to come back here on December 31 to see how we did!
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The main purpose of this blog is to announce occasional additions and changes to the SROP catalog or the site. And it doubles as a soap-box from which to gesticulate and babble...
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