Resolutions
Just like every year, Christmas and New Years came and went all too quickly.
We post our statuses on Facebook about how much we love everyone on Christmas, and we gab about how beautiful our years were on New Years. We post pictures that we look good in and untag the pictures of ourselves where we look like we ate too many holiday cookies.
We fake happiness, perfection, joy. Because no one wants to be honest about the realities of our year.
You would never see a status like this on Facebook:
Whelp. 2015 sucked. Started antidepressants, failed a bunch of tests, lost the love of my life. Cheers to next year!
The reality is, some of us had years like that. Maybe you struggled with dating, maybe you fought with your parents, or maybe you gained some weight. It happens. And every year can't be perfect.
I had an undeniably successful year. I wrote, I edited, I pursued everything I wanted. I was complimented almost daily about my achievements with my books. I was pushed by friends and family to even achieve more. So I continued to do so.
But, I definitely had some problems.
1. For the 80 millionth time, I dated men that it could never work with. I cried, I yelled, and it landed me at the start of 2016 kissing a man at midnight that was not exactly my boyfriend. (And no, he hasn't called.)
2. I got sick: A LOT. Mono, Lyme, Coxsackie..... The list goes on. My close friends knew about it but I basically kept it quiet. Why? Because I couldn't hear anyone else telling me WHY this had happened. (Cue the optimal question: Have you been taking care of yourself?!)
3. I lost my Grandma. It was hard, harder than just about anything. And although I seemed fine afterward, I barely grieved. And that's probably why even now I can barely talk about her without breaking down.
2015 brought me so much joy and so much happiness. But it brought me lessons too.
And now, on January 3rd, when I see everyone posting about resolutions and plans for next year- the only thing I can really conclude is that I need to SLOW DOWN. I need to let myself enjoy what's happening in my life, and stop pushing forward. Sometimes, I just need to be.
And next year I will:
1. Worry less about deadlines for my books.
2. Start writing papers when professors advise me to start. Procrastination only brings stress.
3. Stop letting negative comments affect my daily life. For every negative comment about myself, there are 5 positive ones said by people that matter far more.
4. Date men that are KIND.
5. Enjoy the milestones of my life instead of anxiously awaiting them.
What are the five things that you want to change this year?
We post our statuses on Facebook about how much we love everyone on Christmas, and we gab about how beautiful our years were on New Years. We post pictures that we look good in and untag the pictures of ourselves where we look like we ate too many holiday cookies.
We fake happiness, perfection, joy. Because no one wants to be honest about the realities of our year.
You would never see a status like this on Facebook:
Whelp. 2015 sucked. Started antidepressants, failed a bunch of tests, lost the love of my life. Cheers to next year!
The reality is, some of us had years like that. Maybe you struggled with dating, maybe you fought with your parents, or maybe you gained some weight. It happens. And every year can't be perfect.
I had an undeniably successful year. I wrote, I edited, I pursued everything I wanted. I was complimented almost daily about my achievements with my books. I was pushed by friends and family to even achieve more. So I continued to do so.
But, I definitely had some problems.
1. For the 80 millionth time, I dated men that it could never work with. I cried, I yelled, and it landed me at the start of 2016 kissing a man at midnight that was not exactly my boyfriend. (And no, he hasn't called.)
2. I got sick: A LOT. Mono, Lyme, Coxsackie..... The list goes on. My close friends knew about it but I basically kept it quiet. Why? Because I couldn't hear anyone else telling me WHY this had happened. (Cue the optimal question: Have you been taking care of yourself?!)
3. I lost my Grandma. It was hard, harder than just about anything. And although I seemed fine afterward, I barely grieved. And that's probably why even now I can barely talk about her without breaking down.
2015 brought me so much joy and so much happiness. But it brought me lessons too.
And now, on January 3rd, when I see everyone posting about resolutions and plans for next year- the only thing I can really conclude is that I need to SLOW DOWN. I need to let myself enjoy what's happening in my life, and stop pushing forward. Sometimes, I just need to be.
And next year I will:
1. Worry less about deadlines for my books.
2. Start writing papers when professors advise me to start. Procrastination only brings stress.
3. Stop letting negative comments affect my daily life. For every negative comment about myself, there are 5 positive ones said by people that matter far more.
4. Date men that are KIND.
5. Enjoy the milestones of my life instead of anxiously awaiting them.
What are the five things that you want to change this year?
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