Returning To Form

It strikes me as a great irony that two years ago, February 14th became the very worst day of my life. Even the memory of that day in 2009 never fails to make me want to lock myself up in my room and cry. Two years ago today, my sister was taken from us. Two years ago, part of my soul died.

Today, because my sister would be the first to punch me in the arm and ask me what the hell was taking me so f'ing long, I'm making the decision to start taking it back.

Now, generally, rule of thumb is to keep your personal life separate from your online professional life. But that never really applied to me after my sister passed away, because without the help, support and friendship of the people in my online life, I would not have survived losing her or the other 5 family members I lost the rest of that year. Or any of the other truly heartbreaking things that have besieged my family since.

I feel like I've been fighting a losing battle the last two years, clawing to hold onto everything that I have left and watching it slip through my fingertips. Watching myself slip away with it.

No more.

I tend to put myself last on my priorities and unfortunately, a lot of that has meant my career. I've tried–several times–to kick myself in the tail and get back on the horse. Writing, I've finally done. I have some exciting plans for spring and summer this year, and while I'm always present on Twitter, I have let this space become a ghost town.

I have to be realistic–because I am not an interesting person on the day to day–but I can discuss things with you at least twice a week. Please, I hope you'll be able to look for me on Mondays and Fridays from this point on. I may have guest visitors–this Wed will be my friend Inez Kelley!–but for the most part, that's my commitment. Mondays and Fridays, my promise to all of you.

I'm going to do my best to have contests and games and try to keep it fun. I'll do what I always do, talk too much about my insane children, share story bits and talk about how writing is the only way I stay sane. I may even start throwing in some code days, but that's all in the future.

Today, I'm cleaning my house and purging out everything that's tying me down. Today, I'm starting over. Today, I'm going to make myself new.

See you Wednesday gang.

Dee