"The thing is, I’ll never forget this year,even though I’ve spent all week tryingto figure out how..."

“The thing is, I’ll never forget this year,

even though I’ve spent all week trying

to figure out how to leave 2015 in 2015,

to let it go when midnight rolls around.

I don’t want next year to be just

echoes of this year’s heartbreaks–

the depression that renewed its lease in my body;

the friendships that went ugly and rotten from disuse;

the woman who loved me from behind an ocean

and another relationship;

all the boys with their empty promises and

their unanswered text messages;

the girl who will always taste like summer,

even if I never get to kiss her.

The thing is,

metaphorical new starts aside

this year doesn’t disappear when the ball drops.

It’s still there: standing on my heels,

slow-dancing just a few beats out of step.

This time tomorrow,

I will still owe my roommate $400.

I will still owe too many people too many apologies.

I will still be afraid to call this trembling new love

by its name. I know better

than to think next year

will be perfect.

But for god’s sake,

let it be softer

than this.”

- 2015 by Ashe Vernon