Clear Your Craw

First let me say, I’m not exactly sure where the craw is located, anatomically speaking. But, I know when something gets lodged in it, the craw gets chafed, irritated, and the discomfort leaves you perpetually pissed off. 

So what has been in my craw for most of 2015? Aside from Donald Trump, of course. That damn State Farm commercial. Every time I see it I ask myself, “Why is this still airing and why hasn’t everyone on the advertising team that created it been fired?” You know the commercial I’m talking about. It starts with the guy at the party who says, “I’m never getting married.” Then, we see him buying an engagement ring. He follows suit with, “I’m never” having a child, living in the suburbs, driving a mini-van, having a second child and then he DOES all of these things. At the end of the ad, he is cuddled on the couch with his adoring family and says “I’m never letting go.” Do you see the fucking problem here? If the rest of the commercial holds true, this means he WILL let go. Whenever he says “I’m never,” he does it. So, his wife better get a good lawyer and second job, because this dude is totally abandoning her and those kids. 

For the first time in months, my craw feels clear, and I’m ready to start a brand new year. It's very liberating. I think everyone should give craw clearing a shot. 

*If you’re wondering what the above photo has to do with this blog. Nothing, except that Oscar Brown the Meanest Cat in Town obviously has something stuck in his craw…and has since birth.