A Humane Solution to the Immigration Problem

Merry Christmas, with its attendant wish for peace and goodwill to everyone.

The problem is that there are a lot of people who don't believe in any of that, and we don't know exactly who and where they are.  Yes, I mean those tens of thousands of "Syrian" refugees, as well as other refugees moving into Europe and America with not-so-benign intent.  Here in Arizona we've had close to 100,000 illegal refugees per year running across our border from Mexico, and we've seen the trouble they cause once they get here.  Now it's clearly bigoted and unconstitutional to ban some people from coming to America because of their religion, race, or ethnicity, so how do we keep out the Bad Guys?

Well, there's a simple and perfectly lawful way to do it;  stop all immigration to the US, from everywhere, completely.

Yes, that includes people who claim that they're in danger if they don't get out of where they are.  We can politely route them to somewhere else, some place that's willing to take them in: other Muslim countries for the "Syrian" refugees, other Latino countries for the Mexican ones, Taiwan (or any other Asian country with a large Chinese population) for the ones from China, and so on.  We can even afford to quietly bribe those countries to take them, which should make them a bit more willing.

Yes, we have good reason -- beyond the terrorist problem -- for stopping all immigration;  the US now has the third largest population in the world, we're close to the limit of the carrying-capacity of our land and water, not to mention social services, and we just plain can't take in all the distressed people in the world.

What's more, we should get serious about rounding up all the illegal immigrants (there may be as many as 12 million of them) already here, and send them off to whatever country will have them.  As I've said before, by all means let them take with them all the goodies they've gotten and all the money they've made here in Goody-Land.  In fact, we should give each of them -- man, woman, and child -- a parting-gift: one sturdy revolver, .38 caliber at least, along with five boxes of ammunition, a cleaning kit, and an instruction book (profusely illustrated) printed in the refugees' own language.  After all, they'll need some way to protect what cash and goodies they have when they get to where they're going.

In the case of the Muslim immigrants, specifically, instead of armament for a parting-gift, we should give each of them a suit of clean white clothes (suitable for a pilgrim), $100 for the necessary bribes, and send them off to that one place in the world where all Muslims supposedly want to go at least once in a lifetime: Mecca.  Even the notorious World Opinion will have a hard time complaining about sending Muslims to Mecca.

In any case, we should take thorough biometric readings -- photos, fingerprints, retinal prints, DNA -- of each departing emigrant -- send the same to a central database that every border-patrol agent and cop in the country can tap into, send off the departees with exit visas but no passports, and make certain that they never come back.  As to how their new host countries treat them, well, that's their business;  we will have done our best for them.

--Leslie <;)))><