Words Not Spoken

I watched you this morning when you

went in the bathroom after we’d had sex.

I’ve seen you stand before that mirror

so many times before, but it was obvious

that this morning you were seeing something more

than what you’d ever seen before.

I saw how your shoulders drooped

and that’s when I knew that you realized it too

that all love is not absolute

and promises most assuredly can and will

be broken. These were words that wouldn’t

be spoken, but I saw them there written all over

your body. In the way you walked, the way you talked,

the way you held me tight

as if though this would be the last time.

Your body communicates a message

I cannot misinterpret

In that moment I know

we have been speaking for years

yet not really saying anything.

The chaotic noise of words spoken

something to fill the void,

the one that inevitably develops

over time when incompatible souls

try to forge a bond.

You cannot extract meaning from words

without knowing intention and

if deception led me to believe

that our friendship held a value

greater than things purchased with money

then it was because I was ignorant to intention.

I never knew I could be so easily deceived

into believing

that “twin souls” is more than propaganda

to inflate expectations and that

the Love that was sitting on the side

of my bed

was just a mere illusion

an excuse to

make a home away from home,

a place where I could be with you.

Suddenly you were carrying the

weight of truth

on your shoulders and truth unveiled

is hard to carry when you’re used to

carrying the honeysweet feather weight of

lies and deceptions.

Some words are spoken because of how easy

you carry them.

I love you is much easier to shoulder than

I don’t think I’ve ever loved you

so you keep carrying around expired love

until you can’t carry it anymore.

No truthful words filled the void

that was ripped open between us.

I wish you had been able to tell me the truth.

Why did it have to be revealed by me

noticing how you carried things differently?

How long have you been

shifting and groaning under the weight of

expired love because you were afraid to admit that you

no longer felt the same?

I can go back to the day I thought I knew

that you were preparing to walk away

that you were ready to become

a ghost memory of a Love that

never really existed

or a Love that was strangled

by veiled intentions.

Peace & Love,

Rosalind