Day Game vs Night Game

Day game vs night game. The age-old debate.


When approaching girls, do you use the same techniques at the club
after midnight that you do around noon at Starbucks? Or are t

hose two
approaches literally like night and day?


And perhaps most importantly, which way is best?


Truthfully, it’s more about preference than being “right or wrong.”


Still, you should approach each situation in a different way—clubs and cafes are separate environments with different dynamics.


By the end of this article you’ll understand how to get dates and
pulls from bars and clubs (“night game”), and by talking to women
throughout your daily life (“day game”).


We’ll start by showing you an example of a great day game interaction
and a great night game interaction, and then we’ll break down each one
and how they differ.


And, we’ll tell you how you can get the same awesome results.


Ready to get started?



Day Game Example
Guy: *Sees attractive girl walking by, puts his hand out and says “Excuse me” to get girl’s attention*


“Hey, do you know where the nearest Jamba Juice is?”


Girl: “Umm I think it’s over there by the—”


Guy: *Interrupts her and smiles*


“I’ll be honest – I just asked you because I thought you were cute and I had to say hi. I’m Tripp.”


Girl: “Oh wow, thank you. I’m Ana!”


Guy: “Great – you’re not from (current town) though, are you?”


Girl: “No, I’m from California, how’d you know?!”


Guy: *Laughing*


“You totally have that Valley Girl vibe about you.”


*Minute or two more of banter*


Guy: “Listen, I gotta run to meet up with some friends. Like I
said, you’re really cute and you seem cool. Do you want to hang out
sometime?”


Girl: “Yeah that’d be fun.”


Guy: “Okay awesome. Put your number in my phone and I’ll send you a text.”


Notice the simplicity here; he quickly goes for the close and gets her number without asking a thousand questions.


The guy goes indirect at first, so he doesn’t “scare the cat” so to
speak. Then, once the conversation starts, he switches things up and
goes more direct to show his intent.


Why does he cut her off while she’s giving him directions?


Think about it: If he doesn’t cut her off, she’ll give him a quick answer and keep walking without hesitation.


(You probably do the same thing when somebody asks you for directions on the street.)


But when he cuts her off and goes direct, she’s more inclined to stick around for the conversation.


After he introduces himself, he quickly moves the conversation
forward by making an assumption about her (i.e. “You’re not from around
here, are you?”).


This is way better than asking the typical “Where are you from?”
question that she gets over and over again from guys, mainly because
it’s intriguing rather than transparent.


Finally, after some banter, he waits for the conversation to hit a
high point, and then makes his move by asking if she’d like to hang out
sometime. Asking is key, because it sets the stage for the Commitment and Consistency Principle.


This principle, coined by Dr. Robert Cialdini in Influence,
says that we have a deep desire to be consistent. That’s why once we’ve
committed to something, we’re more inclined to go through with it.


So when she says “Yes” to hang out, she’s a lot more likely to:



Actually give you her number;
And, actually respond when you hit her up later.

Lots of girls will give you their number when prompted, but without
that initial “Yes” you’re likely to get radio silence when you decide to
text her.



Night Game Example
(These interactions are usually a lot longer, so we’ll just show you the beginning)


Guy: “This is my favorite song!”


*Raises his glass*


Girl: “Haha, Backstreet Boys? Really?”


Guy: “Yeah I f**king love 90’s night.” *


Smiles, grabs her hand, and spins her towards him*


“Who are you?”


Girl: *Smiles*


“I’m Holly.”


Guy: “Cool, I’m Tripp. You look like a California girl.”


Girl: “What? No! I’m from Jersey!”


Guy: “Haha with that attitude I should have known”


*Smiles*


“Let’s go over to the bar.”


Girl: “Okay!”


Right from the start, you can tell that the guy is coming with some pretty high energy.


And rightfully so—the nightlife scene, whether a bar or a club, is a
very stimulating environment. With so many things happening, it’s hard
to focus your attention on just one.


Women easily get distracted. That’s why high energy is better for
these types of environments—you’re competing with her friends, the
music, her phone, and any other guys on her radar.


He also immediately adds value by introducing fun to her
night. Women go out to have fun—not to have the same boring,
interview-mode conversations that so many guys try to trap them in. The
“What do you do for a living?” and “How long have you been a fan of X?”
gets old, quick.


Like in the day game example, he makes an assumption about where she’s from, and uses it to playfully tease her.


After some quick banter, he leads her over to the bar. Physically
leading is a crucial part of night game—it establishes you up as the
leader, keeps the interaction fresh and fun, and makes the girl more
comfortable with you.


Notice how he doesn’t go for the number like in the first example. That’s because the goal here is different from day game.


With day game, the girl usually has somewhere to go, so you need to
get her number and arrange for a future meet-up without wasting her
time. But if you manage your logistics well, night game offers the
possibility of bringing her home with you on the same night.


Now that we’ve covered a successful day game and night game
interaction, you probably have an idea of some of the differences, as
well as what works and what doesn’t.


Now let’s break them down by some different principles of game:



Mindset
A lot of guys tend to think you should have a different mindset for picking up women during the day or at night.


“You should hunt for girls at night. During the day, you should just go about your life as usual and let girls come to you.”


But contrary to popular belief, your mindset should actually be the same no matter where the sun is in the sky.


When you’re out at night, you shouldn’t feel like you’re “on the hunt” for women.


Likewise, you shouldn’t feel like there’s a special “day mode” you need to turn on in the morning.


Instead, your mindset should always be:


Women are part of my journey, not my destination.


When you’re going about your day and you see an attractive girl walk
by, this mindset is easy to grasp because women are literally part of
your journey (to work, school, the gym, etc).


But at night the same way of thinking can be a bit tougher.


At the bar or the club, you can think of it like this:


The fun comes first, and the girls come second.


Focus on having an awesome time. Dance it up, have a couple drinks if
you feel like it and be social. When you’re focused on having fun, your
mood will become contagious and women are attracted to that.


Compare this to the guys who are “on the hunt.” They start rapid-fire
approaching girls like machines. They’re not even interested in the
girl, they just want to get the next “approach” in.


You’re depending on their validation. This kind of behavior comes off as needy and women will pick up on it right away.


Don’t be one of those guys.



Approach
While your mindset shouldn’t change, the actual approach in day game
and night game is A LOT different. That’s out of necessity—if you
approach women during the day the same way you do at night, you’ll look a
little crazy.


Let’s take a closer look at the differences.


Day Game Approach:



Go verbally direct early in the conversation;
Groups are often more difficult to approach than single girls;
Basic is best (i.e. ask for directions, then cut her off and go direct);
Lower energy than at night, but not boring;
Less physically direct (physical escalation is much more subtle and limited);
End goal: Go for her number to set up a future meet-up.

Night Game Approach



Go direct, but non-verbally;
Girls will mostly be in groups;
Use a situational or physical opener;
Higher energy than day game;
Lead more;
Be more physical;
Be highly aware of logistics;
End goal: Pull the girl home for a one-night stand, or grab
her number if logistics absolutely don’t work. Don’t approach with the
mindset of just “settling” for a number, as these leads are far colder
than daytime numbers.


Verbal vs Non-Verbal Directness
During the day you need to go verbally direct more quickly.
Otherwise, women will start asking themselves why you’re really talking
to them in the first place.


But at night you’re at in social venue. Conversations are a normal
part of the evening. It doesn’t do much good to say, “By the way, I
think you’re really sexy!”


That’s what pretty much every other guy is telling her EVERY time she goes out.


It’s a lot more powerful to go direct in other ways—like with your body language, physicality and eye contact.


But how do you do that?


Make physical contact with her ASAP. Hug her, hold her hand, spin her around or dance with her.


One of our favorites here is the “dance floor hip-bump.”


When you’re on the dance floor and you see an attractive girl, the
music is blasting. She can’t really hear you, so your witty openers will
fall on deaf ears. Keep talking to a minimum; instead, bust a playful
dance move.


A simple hip shake with a snap of the fingers will do just fine
without making an absolute fool of yourself. When you execute the shake,
lightly bump her with your hip.


After she turns to you, make eye contact. Smile. Step back a few feet
and start dancing on your own, almost like you’re challenging her to a
dance-off.


(Self-amusement is KEY here. This is all in good fun.)


Then, gently grab her hand, spin her around and start dancing with her.


The dance floor hip bump works like magic because it’s playful,
non-aggressive and way less boring than 99% of all the other guys’
openers she’s seen a million times. If she’s not receptive, you can just
shrug it off. No big deal, no rejection. The night is about you,
remember?



The Group Dynamic
Very few attractive women hang out in bars and clubs alone. So if
you’re out at night, odds are you’ll have to approach groups of women.


But that’s not a bad thing—these groups are usually social and fairly easy to open up if you have a fun vibe.


When you first open a group, be sure to engage everyone for a minute
or two before you focus in on the one girl you’re interested in (this is
where a good wingman can prove invaluable).


Now, with day game you’ll probably see a lot of attractive girls
walking in groups. But you’ll also see a lot of pretty girls walking
alone. While you definitely can approach groups during the day, you’ll
have a much easier time talking to individual girls one-on-one.


This is for the simple reason that there is MUCH less stimulation
during the daytime. There’s no music blasting, no people dancing and no
drinks to be had (usually). When you approach a girl in a group, the
rest of her friends just kind of stand there…which creates a lot of
social pressure for you and the girl.


Takeaway: Approaching women in groups using night game is
expected (and normal). But with day game, it’s easier to approach women
who are by themselves.



Leading
With day game, you’ll lead verbally by simply taking control
and directing the conversation. You keep it short and lead her into
giving you her number before you leave.


Since you’re both going about your day, you probably have places to
be—so it’s usually not convenient to lead her to a new destination.


But with night game, you need to lead more on a physical level.


As a general rule, don’t keep doing the same thing with any girl for a long period of time.


For example, don’t stand with her in the same place for three hours or dance away the entire night.


If you don’t mix up your routine a bit, the interaction gets stale and the connection fades.


You need to move things forward before you start to maintain your
frame as a confident leader. If you’ve been dancing with a girl for half
an hour, take her hand and say, “let’s go get a drink,” or simply,
“let’s go over there.” Move her to the bar or a different spot within
the bar. Continue to move her around throughout the night to keep your
connection alive.


If you’re already at the bar, grab her hand and bring her to the
dance floor…and then back to the bar for a drink…and then back to the
dance floor…and then…back to your place. Or hers.


When you keep her guessing, you’ll be the exciting guy she wants to
be around—and a nice change of pace from the boring dudes who constantly
play 21 Questions and hope for something magical to happen.



Physical Escalation
In a nightclub environment, you’ll want to physically escalate
quickly. However, during the daytime or a more casual meetup, take it
slow unless the connection is really strong.


During the day you don’t need much physical escalation. Maybe a few
touches on her elbow or even a hug after you get her number—that’s
usually enough.


That’s because the end goal is simply to get a hot lead and plan a future date.


But night game is all about physical escalation. Since your end goal
is to pull her home, she needs to be comfortable with your touch from
the get-go.


Make physical contact with her as soon as possible. The quicker you
touch her, the quicker you establish that vital sexual spark. A simple
way you can do this is to lightly tap her arm with the back of your
hand. As the conversation flows, you can escalate further—grab her hand,
put your hand on her hips, pick her up, hug her, etc.


If she’s receptive to these types of contact then you can ramp it up and go for the kiss.








But as you can see in the graph above, you don’t want to constantly
escalate. It’s important to step back periodically. Give her some
breathing room, and then ramp it up again. This is also known as push-pull.


Push-pull is like building a fire. While it’s possible to smother a
fire if you toss too many logs into it at once, a fire must also be
tended carefully to keep the flames alive. Knowing when to add fuel and
when to back off is key to managing a girl throughout the night.


And with day game, the main escalation is a handshake at the
beginning, and then possibly a hug at the end. The entire interaction
won’t last much longer than ten minutes, so going for a kiss here is
almost always out of the question.



End Goal
As we’ve mentioned before, the end goals for day game and night game are much different.


Think of day game as searching for a lead. With that lead you’re
going to need a date or two to warm up your prospect and close the deal,
while with night game you’re looking for a direct sale.


It’s rare that you’ll bring a girl home who you just met on the
sidewalk at 2 pm. That’s why the end goal is to get her number, plan a
date and go from there.


But it’s a lot more likely you’ll bring a girl home who you’ve been dancing with and leading around the nightclub.


Therefore it’s a lot more important to manage your logistics at night.


Logistics are everything. If she lives 40 minutes away, has
work the next morning and is driving back with her friend who wants to
get home and microwave her leftover fried chicken, then you’re SOL.


So, how do you manage logistics?


Well, a one-night stand is your goal, right? Then early in the night
you figure out what she’s doing after the bar or club closes. Meet her
friends, find out where she’s staying, how she got there, etc.


This is a very casual and normal thing. You can simply say, “What are
you up to after this?” If the logistics aren’t right, the one-night
stand probably won’t happen.


If that’s all you want that particular night, then you should
probably move on. Or you can try to have sex with her in the bathroom or
somewhere in the surrounding area (like the beach).


If the logistics ARE in your favor, you still need her to agree to
leave with you. If the bar is closing, the first thing you need to do is
MAKE SURE you walk out of the bar with her.


Even if it seems like there’s no way she’ll go home with you, just walk out with her anyway.


If it’s earlier in the night, then suggest something like “Let’s get
out of here and go on an adventure.” If you say that confidently and own it, she’ll usually oblige.


Then, give her a reason to go back to your place, like “Let’s go have
a beer on my rooftop.” This reason or “excuse” is important. It allows
her to justify to herself that “nothing will happen” if she goes home
with you—this prevents her from feeling like a slut.


Always lead and be confident with your words. More often than not the
girl will follow. When she’s back at your place, show her the video you
talked about, or have that beer on the rooftop. And don’t forget to
make a move.



Day Game vs. Night Game
Day game and night game are both great ways to meet women. While you
should take a different approach for each, your mindset should be the
same…


Women are part of your journey, not your destination.