Merry Christmas, everyone! Hope all is well with you and yours, and that, especially, you are happy. Me, I'm off to pressure wash a warehouse with boiling hot water at double the money.

On Christmas, I can almost make a fair wage. Now, I personally, won’t be doing a lot of work. I will fall back on my usual tactics. If something heavy needs lifted I will suddenly have to go to the bathroom. If some massive pallet of bullshit needs shoved over to that corner, well lookie here, my boot needs tying.

I do all this and I ain’t even union.

Once I get off work, I’m going home to my sugar mama and have her rub my feet. I will mix my own bloody mary, though, cuz she always screws it up no matter how many lessons I give her.

Then we’ll open presents. I got her $500 in gift cards to Victoria’s Secret and Frederick’s of Hollywood.

I’m heading toward my 50s and life is good. Bring it, 2016! 

I still got me some gravel in my gut and spit in my eye, fuckin A.