“This would happen to me today. That’s fucked up. I broke up...

“This would happen to me today. That’s fucked up. I broke up with my boyfriend on Friday. I filed my Obamacare last night at midnight. I got four hours of sleep. I left this morning without taking a shower. I didn’t put on a dress. I just put this pink thing on my head so I wouldn’t look so tired. And now I’ve just finished working and I’m heading home to eat Chinese food. And you want to take my picture. Can I at least put on some lipstick?”