Hard Truth 218: The Best Hug I Got in 2015

Every day when I’m walking home from the train, I pass my neighborhood market.

She’s there.

She stands outside the doors, selling StreetWise magazine. It’s a Chicago-based venture where those who are homeless can buy this magazine for $1 and sell it for 2, keeping the profits or using the profits to go back and buy the next week’s edition for sale. In all honesty, it’s an absolutely terrible bit of journalism, but what it does is support someone who is paving the road from homeless and jobless to entrepreneurial and hopefully, homed.

She always has the sweetest smile on her face. “Would you like to help the homeless today?” I can’t imagine how many times she says this each day.

And I’ve never bought a magazine from her.

Today’s hard truth is about asking, “What else?” because there’s always a next — and better — question.

I’m ashamed this morning to say that I don’t know her name.

But every time I see her, I go ask her, “Do you need anything from inside today?”

And her eyes light up.

There’s always a pause before she says, “Really!?”

Yes, really.

And some days it’s rice. Others, it’s cooking oil. Sometimes she asks for cut up chicken, “Wings or legs, whatever’s cheaper.”

So I buy whatever she asks for. And a few things she doesn’t.

Yesterday, it was brisk and windy so I waved and smiled at her as I ducked into the store. I filled my hand basket with the few things I needed and grabbed a package of chicken legs and some rice as well. I had the cashier bag it separately. Then I walked out and handed her the bag.

Her eyes got wide. “What’s this?!”

I said, it’s for you.

She looked in the bag and this massive grin came over her entire face. “Oh, my — you know my favorites!”

And she hugged me.

And it’s the best hug I’ve gotten in all of 2015.

The best hugs is the world are powered by selfless ZEAL –a willingness to squeeze the shit out of someone because it’s the only way you know to share the gratitude bubbling over in your heart. And that’s what I got. It was a great fucking hug.

I told her that whenever she sees me, I’ll be happy to get her anything she needs. She just has to ask. And even if she’s busy and can’t ask, I’ll still get her something.

And today, I’m going to go back by there and bring her an extra down coat of mine. Because yes, I have one I hardly wear in my first-world, highly privileged life.

Because there’s always the next question to ask. And today, I’m going to ask her her name.

It’s the little things, you know. The one more thing we can do. For our clients, our customers, a stranger. Our lover, a kid, or parent.

The one thing that takes so little effort. And all it takes to deliver that one little thing…

is a question.

Because people, I think, just want to be seen as people. And that they matter.

Because they do matter. Just like you matter.

And it’s a shitty world we live in that we’re reminded of these things once a year at a time called the holidays.

So, what will you ask today — that one NEXT question?

“What’s your name?” for the woman who stands outside your market.

“How big was it?” for the nephew who doesn’t stop talking the minute he walks in the door and hasn’t shut up for 2 hours when he’s telling you about the dinosaur that was living in his backyard last week.

“What’s that like?” when Uncle Bob is telling you about the intricacies of ice fishing when you can’t imagine a greater hell.

“How are you doing — and don’t lie to me” for a person who recently lost his spouse of 46 years and tells everyone he’s FINE.

“How are you spending the holidays?” to the server who’s been nothing but chipper to you and your family on a totally slammed night filled with tables full of tourists who don’t tip?

Because maybe in return, karma will come around and someone will ask you that one question that makes you feel SEEN today.

The best hug I got in 2015.
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OR

What makes a hug a REALLY FUCKING GOOD hug?
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