What's the best way to ship a dead body?

Yeah, my mind is working overtime again.  The UPS truck is driving circles through my neighborhood delivering packages and it started me to thinking, "could I ship a body via UPS?"  If the answer to this question is "yes" (which for the sake of this post I am going with) then would it be best to piece-meal that body out or send it in one big package?

Why would someone want to ship a body via the brown truck? Good question.  I've come up with a couple scenarios – really just spit-ballin'  things here.

She's gonna complain about the gift anyway – that special person in your life is never happy. Maybe a body part or two delivered to her door will make her realize just how lucky she really is.
Grandma always wanted to travel – It's like hot potato with your relatives. Grandma always wanted to travel but could never afford it. Now, thanks to UPS, you can send her anywhere your heart desires. Christmas with your cousins in Arizona? No problem, UPS has logistics, baby!
New friend online – So you've finally met a new friend online who shares similar interests but wouldn't you know it – he lives clear across the country in a desolate shack deep in the mountains of Montana where he is working on his Manifesto.  He has some crazy ideas about the current state of our country but seems like a nice enough guy. Maybe he just needs a special lady in his life – pickings must be awful thin with no neighbors for 100 miles. No worries, you have a few stuffed into the crawl space downstairs (see a previous post on You might be a serial killer).  UPS helps you spread the joy!
Everybody loves jewelry – Have a collection of necklaces made from human teeth and not sure what to do with them? UPS can help. Pick some random names out of the phone book and give them an anonymous gift they will never forget!

I hope somebody is writing this stuff down!