The Struggles of Writing: To Give Up or To Write On?

Yesterday, I almost gave up writing.

The “I’ll nevers” were creeping in, and I felt like giving up.

The “I’ll never” be a bestseller.

The “I’ll never” be a known author.

The “I’ll never” see my next book published.

With the ups and downs of writing, the rejections, the perceived failures…it’s easy to almost give up writing.

But then I thought about it some more and realized I can’t.

What will happen to the next set of characters’ stories? How can I not tell their story, let others connect with them?

How can I stop on chapter two with the story after that and let these women sit in a state of limbo, their stories never finished?

The more I thought about giving up writing, the more I thought about the characters waiting to meet the world. The more I couldn’t stop obsessing over their lives, their words, and where their stories would go next.

I wrote their stories in my head, even though I vowed to give up on writing.

To say I will give up on writing is like saying I will stop laughing at a crazy animal commercial or crying when I see a homeless one. It’s like saying I’ll stop loving chocolate and eat fish sticks instead. It’s like saying I’ll quit the color pink, my favorite.

Because writing is a part of my personality as much as anything else. And to say I’m giving up on writing is like shutting off an entire part of myself.

So today, I decided I’ll keep writing. I’ll write through the failures and rejections, the “nos” and “we’ll pass.” I’ll write through the “yes” and “we love it.” I’ll write through the nobody author syndrome of seeing my book placed against millions.  I’ll write when I’m at the top of the rankings and when I’m dead last. I’ll write when I get great reviews and when I get bad. I’ll write every story I have sitting in outline form. I’ll write them even if only ten people read them. I’ll write them if I have to print them on computer paper.

Because the truth is, a writer can’t just quit writing. A writer writes because it is what she needs to do, not what she chooses to do. It’s what her soul craves.

So I write on.

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