Expressing Emotions, Part Three: Love
Welcome back to our expressing emotions series! As I've said before, showing is much harder than telling, because you have to convince your readers what your characters are feeling, rather than just telling them and expecting them to go along with it. Last week we did anger. This week, we're tackling love.
Love is more difficult to show than anger, because definitions of love can vary widely, and people often try to hide it. They don't want to be discovered. Imagine a teenager in love with their best friend. They probably expend a lot of effort trying to keep that friend from discovering it, yes? So the signs of love are often very subtle.
Physical Differences
While people have a tendency to try and hide them, these changes sometimes happen if they love a person, or (more often) are attracted to someone:
adjusting clothing, hair, etc.smilingleaning toward the personeye contactmirroring the other person's actionssidelong glancesplaying with hairlingering touches
These things are relatively subtle, and some can be a sign of nerves or feeling uncomfortable as well, such adjusting clothing and a smile (if it's nervous). Others can be attributed to things like nervous habits (playing with hair), interesting conversation (leaning), or a fastidious personality (adjusting clothing or hair). And then there's also the fact that unless your character wants the object of their affections to be aware of this, that they're probably going to be making an effort to hide it.
This can make it hard to lead your readers in the right direction. Unless, of course, you want it to be a surprise for them as well. In which case, you may want to downplay these physical differences while also making sure the reader is aware of them.
Changes in Behavior
being protectiveacting possessivedisinterest in datingsudden interest in appearancejealousyshowing offdepressionlaughing at things they don't really find funnyloss or change of appetite
These signs are often more pronounced and harder to hide, so if you're wanting to show a lovesick character, they may be your best shot (depending on the story and the character, of course). Some people can tell when reading that a character has romantic feelings even if those behaviors are present from the beginning. However, this might not be true for every reader. So you may want to consider showing that this behavior is in some way abnormal for them.
Some other signs that you can use to show your character might be in love:
sudden clumsinessinability to think clearlyunexplained nervousnessdesire to be near the object of their affectionsabotaging the other person's attempts at relationships with othersattempting to provoke jealousy
Many of these evidences are best shown over a longer period of time, particularly if you're trying to show love, and not attraction. So it may be best (again, depending on your own character and story) to have a big reveal of their feelings later in the story rather than sooner, if you're going to reveal them at all.
Next week we're going after fear, so keep an eye out!
Love is more difficult to show than anger, because definitions of love can vary widely, and people often try to hide it. They don't want to be discovered. Imagine a teenager in love with their best friend. They probably expend a lot of effort trying to keep that friend from discovering it, yes? So the signs of love are often very subtle.
Physical Differences
While people have a tendency to try and hide them, these changes sometimes happen if they love a person, or (more often) are attracted to someone:
adjusting clothing, hair, etc.smilingleaning toward the personeye contactmirroring the other person's actionssidelong glancesplaying with hairlingering touches
These things are relatively subtle, and some can be a sign of nerves or feeling uncomfortable as well, such adjusting clothing and a smile (if it's nervous). Others can be attributed to things like nervous habits (playing with hair), interesting conversation (leaning), or a fastidious personality (adjusting clothing or hair). And then there's also the fact that unless your character wants the object of their affections to be aware of this, that they're probably going to be making an effort to hide it.
This can make it hard to lead your readers in the right direction. Unless, of course, you want it to be a surprise for them as well. In which case, you may want to downplay these physical differences while also making sure the reader is aware of them.
Changes in Behavior
being protectiveacting possessivedisinterest in datingsudden interest in appearancejealousyshowing offdepressionlaughing at things they don't really find funnyloss or change of appetite
These signs are often more pronounced and harder to hide, so if you're wanting to show a lovesick character, they may be your best shot (depending on the story and the character, of course). Some people can tell when reading that a character has romantic feelings even if those behaviors are present from the beginning. However, this might not be true for every reader. So you may want to consider showing that this behavior is in some way abnormal for them.
Some other signs that you can use to show your character might be in love:
sudden clumsinessinability to think clearlyunexplained nervousnessdesire to be near the object of their affectionsabotaging the other person's attempts at relationships with othersattempting to provoke jealousy
Many of these evidences are best shown over a longer period of time, particularly if you're trying to show love, and not attraction. So it may be best (again, depending on your own character and story) to have a big reveal of their feelings later in the story rather than sooner, if you're going to reveal them at all.
Next week we're going after fear, so keep an eye out!
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