A coup is brewing
How about a quick non-writing entry? Something more for my own release than for anyone else to read.
I've coached my youngest son's soccer team for six years now. Over these years I have bonded with these boys, they have bonded with each other and the parents have bonded, so that we feel like one big family. Or rather, felt like one big family.
Two years ago I realized we had a problem. We needed to play against stiffer competition so that the boys would continue to progress.
However, very few clubs would let us join them as an intact team. The focus of competitive soccer in the US is on developing individual players to be the best they can be, NOT on keeping teams together. Which is a fine aspiration, but realizing that 90% of all these players will never play college soccer and even fewer will play pro soccer, I've always felt that the non-soccer aspects of learning teamwork, respect for authority, and other life lessons were just as important as learning a chest-trap then volley shot on goal.
See, we've always been a club that is just about the social aspects of soccer as much as the game of soccer. All the boys are friends and we've kept the same core 8 players together over six years. However, we were beating the recreational level teams in our league 8-0 and could have beaten some by 15-0 if I didn't purposefully throttle us back, so it was time to move up in competition.
It took a LOT of investigation, finagling and negotiation, but I finally found a club that would let us move to them as a team and play at the competitive level.
First year in comp was a complete mess. We joined the club of my oldest sons' and they were disorganized, well-intentioned but insisted on splitting coaching duties with one of their coaches. Great guy. Knows more than I'll ever know. Not effective at getting 10 year old boys playing to their potential. We lost every game until I and my assistant insisted that we basically run the show, then turned it around somewhat.
This year, we switched clubs. Getting through tryouts, picking up two players, fending off the higher level team's coach from poaching our players, etc, was a good two months of stress.
It's been a looooong season. Maybe 50 games this year at U11. We progressed a ton, but this age group seems to have a greater variability in day-to-day performance (with a noticeable correlation in lack of attention if any girls team was practicing near us :))
We won a tournament in the summer. And we won the fall league. In state cup we made the semi-finals, winning our quarterfinal came on a come back and then penalty shoot-out. Last tournament lost 2 and won 1.
The main reasons we lost this season were; one, we have three or four boys who are not physically able to play against the top level of competition we faced. Because I insist every boy plays at least a little bit of every half of soccer, even tournaments, we were exposed. Second, variability in performance. Still, when we lost playing the "right" way (possession-oriented) I didn't mind as when we lost the "wrong" way (lack of focus, laziness, lack of desire).
Due to idiotic US Soccer new regulations adjusting the age cut-offs for each cohort of players, 5 of my 12 players can't play for us next year.
Which brings us to the coup.
Yesterday, I fielded a call from my assistant coach that the remaining 5 parents have gotten together and want to "fire" me as the head coach and instate my assistant as the new head coach. Apparently, we aren't winning enough (every game) and the boys aren't progressing. Wow. What a shock. Especially, that they didn't want to meet with me and consider it a "done deal."
Now, I realize you readers don't know me. I could be a towering tyrant on the sidelines, screaming at every mistake, arguing every bad call and displaying every other bit of counterproductive coaching behavior I've seen over the years. But I'm not. I hold the players accountable to their responsibilities, which means pointing out their mistakes (mental mistakes only . . . physical mistakes are expected and fine), but you will not hear a more vociferous cheering when they do all the right things.
I believe that you have to strike a balance as a coach. If you're nothing but a cheerleader, the boys don't take praise seriously after a while. If you're nothing but a nagging criticizer, the boys won't have any self-esteem, will play scared, etc. I thought I had that balance figured out. Maybe not.
One might think that six years of coaching their children would imbue some slight loyalty? That's over 200 games coached. Maybe 1,000 practice sessions. Countless strategy emails and phone calls with my assistants. And finally, most importantly, the bond I've developed with these boys as they grow from little boys to big boys to soon-to-be grown men.
Okay. Enough weepy poor me stuff. Life has been so good to me. I have three beautiful boys who I love more than anything in this world.
It is more than enough.
I've coached my youngest son's soccer team for six years now. Over these years I have bonded with these boys, they have bonded with each other and the parents have bonded, so that we feel like one big family. Or rather, felt like one big family.
Two years ago I realized we had a problem. We needed to play against stiffer competition so that the boys would continue to progress.
However, very few clubs would let us join them as an intact team. The focus of competitive soccer in the US is on developing individual players to be the best they can be, NOT on keeping teams together. Which is a fine aspiration, but realizing that 90% of all these players will never play college soccer and even fewer will play pro soccer, I've always felt that the non-soccer aspects of learning teamwork, respect for authority, and other life lessons were just as important as learning a chest-trap then volley shot on goal.
See, we've always been a club that is just about the social aspects of soccer as much as the game of soccer. All the boys are friends and we've kept the same core 8 players together over six years. However, we were beating the recreational level teams in our league 8-0 and could have beaten some by 15-0 if I didn't purposefully throttle us back, so it was time to move up in competition.
It took a LOT of investigation, finagling and negotiation, but I finally found a club that would let us move to them as a team and play at the competitive level.
First year in comp was a complete mess. We joined the club of my oldest sons' and they were disorganized, well-intentioned but insisted on splitting coaching duties with one of their coaches. Great guy. Knows more than I'll ever know. Not effective at getting 10 year old boys playing to their potential. We lost every game until I and my assistant insisted that we basically run the show, then turned it around somewhat.
This year, we switched clubs. Getting through tryouts, picking up two players, fending off the higher level team's coach from poaching our players, etc, was a good two months of stress.
It's been a looooong season. Maybe 50 games this year at U11. We progressed a ton, but this age group seems to have a greater variability in day-to-day performance (with a noticeable correlation in lack of attention if any girls team was practicing near us :))
We won a tournament in the summer. And we won the fall league. In state cup we made the semi-finals, winning our quarterfinal came on a come back and then penalty shoot-out. Last tournament lost 2 and won 1.
The main reasons we lost this season were; one, we have three or four boys who are not physically able to play against the top level of competition we faced. Because I insist every boy plays at least a little bit of every half of soccer, even tournaments, we were exposed. Second, variability in performance. Still, when we lost playing the "right" way (possession-oriented) I didn't mind as when we lost the "wrong" way (lack of focus, laziness, lack of desire).
Due to idiotic US Soccer new regulations adjusting the age cut-offs for each cohort of players, 5 of my 12 players can't play for us next year.
Which brings us to the coup.
Yesterday, I fielded a call from my assistant coach that the remaining 5 parents have gotten together and want to "fire" me as the head coach and instate my assistant as the new head coach. Apparently, we aren't winning enough (every game) and the boys aren't progressing. Wow. What a shock. Especially, that they didn't want to meet with me and consider it a "done deal."
Now, I realize you readers don't know me. I could be a towering tyrant on the sidelines, screaming at every mistake, arguing every bad call and displaying every other bit of counterproductive coaching behavior I've seen over the years. But I'm not. I hold the players accountable to their responsibilities, which means pointing out their mistakes (mental mistakes only . . . physical mistakes are expected and fine), but you will not hear a more vociferous cheering when they do all the right things.
I believe that you have to strike a balance as a coach. If you're nothing but a cheerleader, the boys don't take praise seriously after a while. If you're nothing but a nagging criticizer, the boys won't have any self-esteem, will play scared, etc. I thought I had that balance figured out. Maybe not.
One might think that six years of coaching their children would imbue some slight loyalty? That's over 200 games coached. Maybe 1,000 practice sessions. Countless strategy emails and phone calls with my assistants. And finally, most importantly, the bond I've developed with these boys as they grow from little boys to big boys to soon-to-be grown men.
Okay. Enough weepy poor me stuff. Life has been so good to me. I have three beautiful boys who I love more than anything in this world.
It is more than enough.
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