Finding the Season’s Cheer – Dialectic Two-Step
Estimated reading time: 14 minute(s)
Finding the Season’s Cheer
It’s December and the holidays are upon us. It’s time for family, big dinners, gift giving, and the hope of snow. Of course, there is another side to the holidays.
Waiting for my commuter rail train the other day, it was crowded and tensions were palpable. People in close proximity, the noise, and that special ingredient – holiday anxiety – added some bitter spice to the mix.
At the North Station convenience store, a woman with a baby carriage was cut in line three times as people took advantage of her lack of mobility.
On the subway a few people, unwilling to wait for the next train, shoved their way onto the car and as a result we were crammed in like sardines. Tempers flared and there were some colorful remarks.
10 minutes later on a connecting train, while a disabled woman and her elderly mother were slowly trying to exit a train, a rider went on a rant about the slow train service.
The season to be jolly is a coin with 2 sides.
Train of Consciousness
As you can see, I take the train. Despite the experiences I described above, I really enjoy it. It offers me a respite from rush hour traffic. It’s given me the opportunity to write more and it’s given me a chance to explore some feelings and reactions to something I’ve not always enjoyed.
At various points in my life I’ve taken the subway and dreaded it. For me, there is a disorder and discomfort to riding the train. I’ve spent hours in traffic, for the “convenience” of being in my own car. I never liked it.
But, my time on the cushion has spurred me to explore the experience. I am determined to apply the insights I’ve gained in meditation to all the circumstances of my life; even riding the train.
The Experiment
I’ve tried to treat my return to public transportation as an exercise in mindfulness. I began to watch how my body and mind took in the experience and responded. My typical reaction was withdrawal. I’d recoil from the stimuli, avert eye contact with other people. My posture collapsed and I’d get tense.
Recognizing this as what Buddhists call aversion, I made an effort to shake the patterns and open up. I started with my body. Each ride, I tried to be aware of my aversion and respond to the tension by doing little things like standing up straight and relaxing.
I’d lift my sternum a little to open up my heart. I’d make an effort to release the tension in my face (this is one of the keys to happiness) and let a smile creep on to the corners of my mouth.
My mood has been transformed. Relatively quickly, I was able to relieve the stress of riding the train. While I still split my time (somewhat irrationally) between the train and the car, I recognize that my body and mind prefer the train ride in.
What’s wonderful is that these techniques work anywhere; in malls, while you’re driving, or any situation where “holiday cheer” can reach boiling point.
But There’s More
Relaxing and opening the body can bring relief, but we can take it a step further.
During my train of consciousness experiment, I’ve spent time looking around. The faces of those around me offer up smiles and scowls. The expressions are contagious. They sometimes invite and sometimes repel. They are the shared energy and patterns of our interdependence.
What’s remarkable about my exploration is the quality of the experience. It feels good and it’s reminiscent of the bliss I sometimes get on the cushion.
The state of open awareness that I achieve during inward reflection feels wonderful and has a healing quality to it. When I allow that awareness to expand beyond the boundaries of my body, the feeling only grows. The appreciation of my interdependence becomes more than conceptual. It’s becomes a joy to share space with the Buddhas on the train.
When I peer out from behind my identity and see that we are brothers and sisters in Buddha nature, I feel connected. When I see that I am not alone and there are others that I can and do rely on, I am grateful. When I see that peace, cooperation, and goodness surrounds me, I am convinced that the world is evolving in its perfection. How is it possible not to smile?
Don’t Give Up
But what about the “non-Buddha’s”? What about those jerks that cut the young mother in line, shoved their way on the train, or cursed at the handicapped woman? What about them?
It’s a matter of interdependence, energy and evolution. The infectiousness of other people’s energy is an opportunity for mindfulness. On the cushion, digging into the origin and life of our thoughts gives us insight into the power ideas can have over us. We learn that if we allow thoughts to be our masters, we will be tossed about from one thing to the other, on an emotional rollercoaster.
But if we can turn the tables and master our minds, peace is available to us no matter what energy and thoughts appear in our minds, and on our path.
One lesson that I’ve learned in life is that you can’t solve other people’s problems. A corollary to this truth is that there is no greater service to others than mastering your own issues. The only path to harmony in the world is to bring a more peaceful, mindful and loving you to each day.
One of my favorite Zen Sutras is the Flower Sermon. In it the Buddha simply holds up a flower and smiles. As a result his disciple, Mahakasyapa, was enlightened. It could just mean – Smile, it’s contagious!
Don’t forget to smile.
Namo Amitofo,
Dialectic Two-Step is an ongoing series of my thoughts on questions that come my way.
Wisdom lies neither in fixity nor in change, but in the dialectic between the two. - Octavio
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