This is my dog Duke. He’s a minpin, a miniature pinscher,...

This is my dog Duke. He’s a minpin, a miniature pinscher, very old.

He’s 12 or 13 or 14 and in the final years of his life.

Yesterday, I put the Christmas tree up and he keeps stealing ornaments off it.

The rounder they are, the better. Or, if he can’t get round, shiny.

He takes them to his doggie bed and just HAS them. I reach in there to take them away and he gets all growly and nippy.

I decided, ok, Duke, you can have a Christmas ornament. I took off the hook because I was afraid he’d swallow it and he got to have a whole Christmas ornament unto himself.

He curled up with it, slept with it. It was the cutest thing ever.

But then, after about 2 or 3 hours, he started tearing it apart, eating it even. Since it’s like stryofoam and fabric and paint, I didn’t think that’d be good for him so I took it away.

He’s so pissed at me. I’m getting the silent treatment, which I always get because, you know, he’s a dog and can’t talk.