She Would Have Been Twenty
(I promise this post relates to writing. Be sure to read all the way to find out why.)
Once upon a time, twenty years ago, my first little sister was born. She was born with a lot of problems in her heart, and we had to be very careful with her. She had open-heart surgery at three months old. The doctors thought she was going to be okay. And maybe she would have; we won't ever know.
When she was close to five months old, one of her nurses - the one on duty - went to see another patient in the ICU. Make her rounds. During the time the nurse was preoccupied, my sister's shunt bag dropped and her fontanel began to collapse. She was rescued by a miracle - my dad coming into the room and seeing it, yelling for help - but it had done the damage. After that, it was too much for her heart and her brain, and my sister died on May 9th, 1996.
Her name was Holly Honor.
Sweet angel baby.
I remember her, which is weird because I was two. But I do. In fact, I'll never forget her. She was such a sweet baby, always making tiny, angelic noises at the back of her throat. Her head was always a little bit bigger than it should have been due to hydrocephalus, but she was still the cutest baby I had ever seen. I was going to be her big sister forever. She would always be there for me to protect and love and play with - up until the moment she wasn't.
Me and my dad. I remember getting our faces painted outside the hospital.
I have one million and one tons of respect for my parents. They could have sued the hospital and made so much money and gotten out of debt, but on one condition: say it was the fault of the nurse on duty that night. And they just couldn't do it. It wasn't her fault, and saying that could have ruined this nurse for a long, long time.
So, instead, they let it go and chose not to sue. Even in their agony, they chose to act on their incredible faith that God had a purpose and a plan for Holly's life. They tried to see past their own pain. After some grieving time, my mom had all of Holly's nurses over for a sleepover to celebrate Holly's life. The nurse who was on duty, the one who almost had her life destroyed, left our house having given her life to God.
The plot twist? She died three years later from an asthma attack.
I've always been amazed that my parents got to see the fruit of their faithfulness during their lifetime. Most of the time when we make a decision to forgive something awful or do something good, in general, we don't get to see the positive outcome. My parents did. If Holly hadn't lived on this earth for that short period of time, and if my parents hadn't moved on and shown a true example of grace, would the nurse have come to know her Savior? Would the people who knew Holly in her short 5.5 months on this earth have been so amazingly, positively affected?
Here's where writing comes in: In the same way I wanted to write about my personal life experiences/hopes/fears in TCP, I wanted to write about Holly.
More specifically, I wanted to write about a girl who lost her best friend and doesn't know how to see past the pain... Until, that is, she starts to see how people literally all over the world have been affected by her best friend's kindness and love. Even in such a short life, her friend made a difference. She encouraged strangers and made those strangers friends and loved to the fullest. It didn't matter that she was 17. It didn't matter that her heart was failing her. What mattered was her sweet soul.
One person really can make a difference.
Oh, and the best friend's name? Holly Honor. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Today, on November 27th, 2015, my family and I celebrate the day our Holly would have turned 20 years old. And today, in honor of her, I will sit my butt down, wipe away my tears, and try to catch up on NaNo, because she would have been cheering me on if she were here. That's actually a really lovely thought, especially after my massive crying breakdown while writing this post. I feel refreshed and ready to roll.
Our family. In the picture on the right, from left to right: Ember, Timmy (recently adopted from China!!), Haven, and me. I love my crazy siblings.
So happy birthday, Holly, my sister and my friend, even if it was just for those few short months. I miss you every day!
XOXO,
Once upon a time, twenty years ago, my first little sister was born. She was born with a lot of problems in her heart, and we had to be very careful with her. She had open-heart surgery at three months old. The doctors thought she was going to be okay. And maybe she would have; we won't ever know.
When she was close to five months old, one of her nurses - the one on duty - went to see another patient in the ICU. Make her rounds. During the time the nurse was preoccupied, my sister's shunt bag dropped and her fontanel began to collapse. She was rescued by a miracle - my dad coming into the room and seeing it, yelling for help - but it had done the damage. After that, it was too much for her heart and her brain, and my sister died on May 9th, 1996.
Her name was Holly Honor.
Sweet angel baby.I remember her, which is weird because I was two. But I do. In fact, I'll never forget her. She was such a sweet baby, always making tiny, angelic noises at the back of her throat. Her head was always a little bit bigger than it should have been due to hydrocephalus, but she was still the cutest baby I had ever seen. I was going to be her big sister forever. She would always be there for me to protect and love and play with - up until the moment she wasn't.
Me and my dad. I remember getting our faces painted outside the hospital.I have one million and one tons of respect for my parents. They could have sued the hospital and made so much money and gotten out of debt, but on one condition: say it was the fault of the nurse on duty that night. And they just couldn't do it. It wasn't her fault, and saying that could have ruined this nurse for a long, long time.
So, instead, they let it go and chose not to sue. Even in their agony, they chose to act on their incredible faith that God had a purpose and a plan for Holly's life. They tried to see past their own pain. After some grieving time, my mom had all of Holly's nurses over for a sleepover to celebrate Holly's life. The nurse who was on duty, the one who almost had her life destroyed, left our house having given her life to God.
The plot twist? She died three years later from an asthma attack.
I've always been amazed that my parents got to see the fruit of their faithfulness during their lifetime. Most of the time when we make a decision to forgive something awful or do something good, in general, we don't get to see the positive outcome. My parents did. If Holly hadn't lived on this earth for that short period of time, and if my parents hadn't moved on and shown a true example of grace, would the nurse have come to know her Savior? Would the people who knew Holly in her short 5.5 months on this earth have been so amazingly, positively affected?
Here's where writing comes in: In the same way I wanted to write about my personal life experiences/hopes/fears in TCP, I wanted to write about Holly.
More specifically, I wanted to write about a girl who lost her best friend and doesn't know how to see past the pain... Until, that is, she starts to see how people literally all over the world have been affected by her best friend's kindness and love. Even in such a short life, her friend made a difference. She encouraged strangers and made those strangers friends and loved to the fullest. It didn't matter that she was 17. It didn't matter that her heart was failing her. What mattered was her sweet soul.
One person really can make a difference.
Oh, and the best friend's name? Holly Honor. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Today, on November 27th, 2015, my family and I celebrate the day our Holly would have turned 20 years old. And today, in honor of her, I will sit my butt down, wipe away my tears, and try to catch up on NaNo, because she would have been cheering me on if she were here. That's actually a really lovely thought, especially after my massive crying breakdown while writing this post. I feel refreshed and ready to roll.
Our family. In the picture on the right, from left to right: Ember, Timmy (recently adopted from China!!), Haven, and me. I love my crazy siblings.So happy birthday, Holly, my sister and my friend, even if it was just for those few short months. I miss you every day!
XOXO,
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