A Recent Short, Slightly Awkward, Phone Conversation with Adele - Part 1

Adele: Hello, it's me
Me: Adele, wow, it’s been ages! How are you?
Adele: I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet
Me: Not sure about that. My neck still hurts from the last time we met.
Adele: To go over everything
Me: Not entirely sure what you’re talking about but we can grab a coffee if you like?
Adele: They say that time's supposed to heal ya
Me: Seems a bit of a clichéd statement, but I suppose . . .
Adele: But I ain't done much healing
Me: I’ve told you before, just put some cream on it and the itching will go away.
Adele: Hello, can you hear me
Me: Is the connection bad? I can hear you fine. If anything, you’re a bit loud.
Adele: I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be. When we were younger and free.
Me: You’re in California? I thought you were in London?
Adele: I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet. There's such a difference between us.
Me: I have to admit, I’m not entirely sure what you’re talking about.
Adele: And a million miles
Me: Not entirely true. The earth only has a circumference of 25 thousand miles so you can never really be millions of miles from any—
Adele: Hello from the other side
Me: Well that was rude, I was trying to give you a fun fact about distance.
Adele: I must have called a thousand times
Me: Oh come on, I have caller ID, you definitely didn’t call a thousand times. ‘Thousand times’, ‘million miles’, someone’s a bit of an exaggerator.
Adele: To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done
Me: Did you do something I’m not aware of? If you did call a thousand times, you may have been dialing the wrong number.
Adele: But when I call you never seem to be home
Me: Yeah, you’ve definitely got the wrong number.
Adele: Hello from the outside
Me: Are you . . . are you outside my house?
Adele: At least I can say that I've tried
Me: This isn’t an answering machine, Adele, I’m trying to have a conversation here.
Adele: To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart
Me: My heart? It was my collarbone you broke!
Adele: But it don't matter it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore
Me: Well I had a great physiotherapist.
Adele: Hello, how are you.
Me: Adele, be honest now, are you drunk?
Adele: It's so typical of me to talk about myself I'm sorry
Me: Well, you’re not wrong there. You do get a bit self-involved after you’ve had a few . . .