Feedback Request

The author of the book featured in Face-Lift 1288 would like feedback on the following revision:


Smugglers have inadvertently awakened a dragon. Trapped in an artifact, the dragon secretly compels the smugglers to bring it treasure to fuel its magic. It also sends them to kidnap Shimmer, a girl who can set it free.

Guard Tali Adilrein is hired as Shimmer's bodyguard after rescuing her from the kidnappers. Tali survives an assassination attempt. She finds traces of magic during an apparent accident that severely injures her partner. To protect her client from more direct magical attacks, Tali calls on the dragon magic she abandoned when it started turning her into a monster.

The trapped dragon will soon grow powerful enough to break free. When it does, it will lay waste to the city and kill Shimmer. However, if Tali uses her own magic to stop it, she will change into a dragon, and her client will become her victim.