Thanksgiving Survival for Introverts
©2015 Kari Carlisle
Here we are. Thanksgiving. Family, food and football. What’s not to love? Well, for us introverts, Thanksgiving is fraught with emotional landmines. Here are some of my survival tactics you can use for the weekend and any similar social situations.
Advanced Planning. I don’t mean what side dish to bring. I mean think about who’s going to be there and what’s likely to happen that will involve you. If you show up and just go with the flow, you’re going to get tsunami’ed. The best way to handle things is to know what to expect and be prepared. Do you have a particular family member you don’t always get along with? Are there likely to be topics of conversation that lead to disagreements or worse? Decide NOW how you are going to react and what you want to say. If you leave your reactions to the heat of the moment, you’ll respond with the instinctual fight or flight, and either of those means you’re not in control. Run away, and you’ll be accused of avoidance. Fight back, and you’ll just exacerbate the situation. Either way, you will not sway anyone to your point of view. The best course of action is to transcend the conversation and respond with diplomacy. Better yet, just ask questions, and let everyone else dig themselves into a pit. You may just find that people who once took you for granted discover a new-found respect for you.
Food Alternatives. Personal dietary choices are becoming more varied with each passing year. Though not a function of personality type, how you manage to avoid pissing someone off is. Having placed some dietary restrictions on myself for health reasons, I have inadvertently upset my hosts in the past. And unfortunately, even announcing your restrictions in advance will not always help. Hosts forget, misunderstand, get confused, forget to communicate to the cook, or frankly just don’t give a rat’s ass. Only you can evaluate your own situation, and you may get caught off guard. On the plus side, Thanksgiving gatherings typically offer a wide enough array of food choices, you can pick and choose. But if you’re a weekend guest, you may find Friday morning’s ham and eggs with toast don’t exactly meet your raw, gluten-free, vegan lifestyle. Your choices are limited, but you do have choices. 1. Give in. Will it kill you? It could, depending on your reasons. 2. Refuse to eat it. Good luck with that one.3. Bring your own food. So you think you’re better than the others? 4. Suggest everyone go out to eat. Better be prepared to pay. 5. Take over the cooking. In someone else’s kitchen? Make sure he/she’s not a control freak.
Activity Alternatives. What’s the Thanksgiving activity of choice? Whether it’s football (playing or watching), movie marathon, shopping (when did Black Friday take over Thanksgiving Day?), or some other activity, it’s likely a group activity that has become traditional for your family. If you look forward to it, great! If not, you’ll need a way out. Do you have any commiseraters? Is there any other person or two with no heart for it? Contact them before Thanksgiving, and say, “Hey, let’s say you and me go for a hike after dinner Thursday instead of watching football?” If you plan something ahead of time, especially involving multiple people, you may be pleasantly surprised to find others jump on the bandwagon. You might even start a new holiday tradition. My firm belief is that the others who choose Activity “A” won’t notice you’re missing.
Having addressed some of the most common social issues faced by introverts on Thanksgiving, I do realize the complexity of your own situation may be beyond the scope of this blog post. To you, I say call in sick or suck it up… or get professional help. On top of it all, politics, religion and alcohol can play havoc on social situations. So good luck, save room for pie, and if you have any other suggestions for us introverts, PLEASE post them in the comments below.
Click HERE to receive these blog posts in your inbox.
www.readmota.com
Here we are. Thanksgiving. Family, food and football. What’s not to love? Well, for us introverts, Thanksgiving is fraught with emotional landmines. Here are some of my survival tactics you can use for the weekend and any similar social situations.
Advanced Planning. I don’t mean what side dish to bring. I mean think about who’s going to be there and what’s likely to happen that will involve you. If you show up and just go with the flow, you’re going to get tsunami’ed. The best way to handle things is to know what to expect and be prepared. Do you have a particular family member you don’t always get along with? Are there likely to be topics of conversation that lead to disagreements or worse? Decide NOW how you are going to react and what you want to say. If you leave your reactions to the heat of the moment, you’ll respond with the instinctual fight or flight, and either of those means you’re not in control. Run away, and you’ll be accused of avoidance. Fight back, and you’ll just exacerbate the situation. Either way, you will not sway anyone to your point of view. The best course of action is to transcend the conversation and respond with diplomacy. Better yet, just ask questions, and let everyone else dig themselves into a pit. You may just find that people who once took you for granted discover a new-found respect for you.
Food Alternatives. Personal dietary choices are becoming more varied with each passing year. Though not a function of personality type, how you manage to avoid pissing someone off is. Having placed some dietary restrictions on myself for health reasons, I have inadvertently upset my hosts in the past. And unfortunately, even announcing your restrictions in advance will not always help. Hosts forget, misunderstand, get confused, forget to communicate to the cook, or frankly just don’t give a rat’s ass. Only you can evaluate your own situation, and you may get caught off guard. On the plus side, Thanksgiving gatherings typically offer a wide enough array of food choices, you can pick and choose. But if you’re a weekend guest, you may find Friday morning’s ham and eggs with toast don’t exactly meet your raw, gluten-free, vegan lifestyle. Your choices are limited, but you do have choices. 1. Give in. Will it kill you? It could, depending on your reasons. 2. Refuse to eat it. Good luck with that one.3. Bring your own food. So you think you’re better than the others? 4. Suggest everyone go out to eat. Better be prepared to pay. 5. Take over the cooking. In someone else’s kitchen? Make sure he/she’s not a control freak.
Activity Alternatives. What’s the Thanksgiving activity of choice? Whether it’s football (playing or watching), movie marathon, shopping (when did Black Friday take over Thanksgiving Day?), or some other activity, it’s likely a group activity that has become traditional for your family. If you look forward to it, great! If not, you’ll need a way out. Do you have any commiseraters? Is there any other person or two with no heart for it? Contact them before Thanksgiving, and say, “Hey, let’s say you and me go for a hike after dinner Thursday instead of watching football?” If you plan something ahead of time, especially involving multiple people, you may be pleasantly surprised to find others jump on the bandwagon. You might even start a new holiday tradition. My firm belief is that the others who choose Activity “A” won’t notice you’re missing.
Having addressed some of the most common social issues faced by introverts on Thanksgiving, I do realize the complexity of your own situation may be beyond the scope of this blog post. To you, I say call in sick or suck it up… or get professional help. On top of it all, politics, religion and alcohol can play havoc on social situations. So good luck, save room for pie, and if you have any other suggestions for us introverts, PLEASE post them in the comments below.
Click HERE to receive these blog posts in your inbox.
www.readmota.com
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