It's nice that my writing has made me a genuwine thousandaire, complete with a fully paid light bill, a decent truck, and a fridge full of booze and vegetables, but that's not why I do it.

As I sit here putting the final touches on my next book, I’d like to make some money, but I don’t write for money. Well, not for much money anyway, haha.

I write for release.

Who here wants to pay me five bucks every time I whack off? No one? Well, I’m still gonna do it, and a lot (there’s a reason my right bicep is nearly twice the size of my left). I’m gonna do it because I have to.

Why, if I don’t write and whack off, I’ll go absolutely batshit.

Wait a minute….