Motivation
Sometimes it’s so hard to open up the file and start typing. I wish I knew why. I read The War of Art recently, subtitled “Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Creative Battles” and about all I can remember from it is a sort of religious idea of creativity, with Resistance being the devil’s handiwork. More or less. Really, probably less, I’m totally reading into it. But I remember nothing that tells me why I experience such resistance or what to do about it. Except, of course, to just open the damn file and start typing.
A few weeks ago I was on reddit and a cover designer posted a $30 cover offer for NaNo. On a total impulse, I took him up on it. For, of all things, A Lonely Magic. This will be the… fifth cover. I had to count on my fingers. Ugh. I should stop blaming the cover for the book’s lack of success — I worked in the business long enough to know that some books just don’t sell. Wrong time, wrong book, wrong opening, wrong blurb — it’s impossible to know why. It’s just the nature of the business.
But my Law of Attraction friend told me that I needed to be positive about the cover, to send out vibes into the universe that said “sparkling and magical” and to have faith that the cover would be, finally, the cover of my dreams. It would help, I suppose, if I knew what my dreams were. Anyway, I got a first design yesterday, and then a second pass at that design in the evening, and I’m actually rather impatiently waiting for the third pass. It’s different. I have no idea whether it will sell any books. But I’m definitely pleased with my $30 investment. (I’ll post it, obviously, when I get a final version.)
And now I should stop letting my Resistance run away with me. Yesterday I didn’t write a single word on Grace and today I need to do better. As well as doing all those chores I didn’t get to yesterday, including getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner. Yes, four days in advance! But I like to make it easy on myself by having almost everything prepped in advance. Last year, there were nine of us, and by the time people arrived, I had the kitchen close to clean, and by seven PM, it was back to normal. I aspire to do the same this year, with ten people, which means planning. But this year it ought to be really easy — I’ve got people bringing stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, rolls, and two kinds of dessert. I’m on turkey, cranberry sauce, and gravy, but will probably add brussel sprouts and maybe salad, just to give myself more to do. Hmm, maybe I’ll make an appetizer? But I already know that my guests are happy as long as the turkey, stuffing, and pie are there, so I don’t really have much to worry about.
Resistance is writing about Thanksgiving dinner when I should be writing Grace. But if you know of any interesting Thanksgiving appetizers, please share them with me!
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Quartknee wrote: "I'm one of those "LoA People" and I agree with your friend. Also, from reading these blog posts I get the sense that you're not the word count kind of writer. NaNo builds in a lot of extra pressure..."Sorry it's taking me so long to respond to your comment! I saw it but I keep getting distracted every time I come back to goodreads to respond to it. Any site that opens with books turns me into a dog at the sight of a squirrel -- or at least my dog at the sight of a squirrel, all intentions lost in the need to read. :) But thank you for your suggestions. I'll be taking them this month. I've made myself a chain file where I can keep track of my days in a chain, although I may actually look for a calendar, and I'm going back to the writing sprints plan, where I write for consistent periods of time. But what I really need to do is figure out how to follow your last suggestion, to let the material be what it will be and let the story unfold. Ghosts barely has a plot and it's fun anyway, in exactly that unfolding sort of way. I need to relax and let Grace do the same thing. Thank you!
No worries, As a fellow writer I get it... When I was in college my kitchen and bathroom were never quite as clean as when I had a lot of homework to do or a huge paper to write! Just know that you can be working even when you're not writing... that's one of the things I enjoy about it, we can incorporate any/every aspect of our experience so just going out into the world and living your life can be fodder if you let it.Sarah wrote: "But what I really need to do is figure out how to follow your last suggestion, to let the material be what it will be and let the story unfold. "
Rumination is the turning over of things in one's mind. It is the same capacity as worry but worry is directed at the future instead of the past... I like to think of my story as already written and then do what I can to sort of ruminate over it. I carry a little notebook and walk around - maybe a coffee walk in the morning, or while I'm out doing errands. You might try it while walking with your dog. I ask myself questions about the manuscript in general, What would such-and-such character say about that thing I see? or What would these two characters say to each other in that chapter five scenario? or whatever. Sometimes useful things come and sometimes it's just asides or fodder for a backstory or even just stuff that I'll never actually write out. For me, it's a way to make the characters feel more real and alive and when I sit down to write it's almost like I'm writing about friends I've spent the morning with...
I'm also guided by elements of my day or seemingly random chance encounters. I don't believe in happenstance, instead I trust that everything happens for a reason. A clerk at the post office or the checker at the grocery store could say or do something that might spark something useful. I'm just open to it all and inspiration, ideas and concepts come to me all the time when I'm just relaxed and going with the flow.
One of my writing buddies likes to meditate which seems to me is a more formal ritual of rumination the way he applies it to his work. He makes tea and sits and looks at a candle to focus and relax his mind. That might work for you if it's your mind that squirrels you away from the relaxed openness - I need to move a bit, pace the room or walk outside if I can. It gives my body something to do and the cadence seems to create the relaxed focus that works best for me.
Like a lot of things it's a process and once you find your groove I'm sure you'll dance through your days!
Like you, I experienced a lot of resistance, stuck energy around story elements or finding myself running through avoidance patterns keeping busy then feeling guilty, etc... Since I've switched my goal from word count to a time count everything has reversed and I've actually made way more progress.
Looking back at the last month I typed out a much higher word count than I ever thought possible when I was so focused on that metric. I basically commit to an hour a day. Anything beyond that is a bonus. I began with 20 minutes and found I was easily going way over that consistently so I've upped my minimum.
I also use Jerry Seinfeld's writing plan of "don't break the chain" where I keep a calendar on my desk and I put a red X on the days I write. Seeing the long chain of X's motivates me to want to keep it going so I don't break the chain of X's.
Some days I've been able to write for two half hour sessions, other days I write well into the afternoon. The best part of this new system presented itself to me when I realized that I didn't feel guilty or conflicted over changing directions with one of my characters in a subplot and had to scrap/edit/update everything. I didn't flinch or regret removing huge chunks of words. When word count was my main focus I would dither and meekly approach something like that not wanting to damage my project's overall count.
That led me to not actually deleting stuff so I just move text to a "Cut Stuff" file which leaves it functionally deleted from the manuscript but also provides a measure of inspiration when I review/organize it. For me, it seems to soothe concerns for quality and for counts.
I'd love to see you switch goals when the new month begins this week. You seem like the type of writer who wants to let the material be what it will be and to tell the story that naturally unfolds. With such character driven material, you have to channel them, get into their heads a bit and sort of transcribe what they reveal. I'd love to see you be easier on yourself and just relax into the process a bit more without adding so much guilt or obsession with counting words... Allow things to flow and they will!