Letting go...even when we don't want to

For six months, I couldn't send from one of my email addresses. I tried to deal with it but the guy at my hosting company reached a point where he said it wasn't a problem on their end, but instead one in my mail account. With the wedding on the horizon, I gave up and spent six months changing the address on the emails I was sending.

Saturday, however, I realized I needed to fix it and with a phone call– to tech support again– another tech guy and I managed to fix it. But in that process I lost about 3,000 emails.

I know what you're thinking, "Why did you have so many emails?!" While I had been good about deleting them, at some point I had stopped. So even though I wasn't excited about letting them go, I realized that it meant I could let something new into my life. One day I'm sure I'll be annoyed when I realize that one of the deleted emails holds information that I need, but I'll deal with it. And I know that I lost some emails from my mom and some other people who have since died.

It's not about the emails though– it's what we hold inside of us. And the more I can loosen the grasp, the more that comes back to me.