Top Ten Ways I’m Not That Interested In Telling You How to Write
There’s not a list in this post. I know, everyone loves lists. Lists do better on social media. If you want people to read your fiction, you write a list … about anything. Just write a list, damn your hide!
Horse balls.
Fact to Fiction
My twitter feed is slammed full of my colleagues all posting writing tips to one another. More power to them, by the way. My work certainly needs all the help it can get.
But I don’t believe that a person who clicked on “Top Ten Ways To Make Sure Your Main Character Isn’t a Douche” is going to click on an image of your book in your sidebar and then buy it.
Imagine you have a dentist’s appointment. You go there to get your teeth scraped and have a hygienist speak his family news into your open mouth. As you’re paying your bill, you notice the dentist’s dystopian YA novel on the front desk.
Are you thinking, “I’m gonna give this guy’s fiction a chance?”
Little Johnny can’t wait to read Melissa’s paranormal romance.
What if it Works?
Listen. I like Chuck Wendig’s fiction. Sure, I was sort of an ass to him in person, but it ended up working out.
I was at a scifi con recently, chatting with a fellow panelist, and Mr. Wendig’s name came up. My fellow panelist said she loved reading Chuck’s books.
“Me too,” I said. “I like the Mookie Pearl series a bunch, and I’ve read all the Hyperion Trilogy.”
“Oh,” she said. “I’ve only ever read his books on writing.”
It makes me think: Why am I doing this? Is it because I like the craft and have some ideas I’m dying to work on, or is it because I want readers, of any kind, at all costs?
Finally, some advice
You might or might not know I used to weigh 325 pounds. I doubt I’ll ever have visible abs, barring a serious attack upon my midsection by someone wielding a katana, but I have lost over 100 pounds.
Writing is a lot like losing weight. There’s a lot of advice out there, but the advice that works is simple. You don’t need ten bullet points, or even five, or two.
I’m not interested in pretending I have writing all figured out. One of the things I love about it is I can learn about it every day for the rest of my life and never finish.
Short story belabored, I’m not coming up with top ten lists for writers. I still believe that an audience will find me, lists or no lists, if I can do good, honest work. As for how to do good, honest work, well, I work on it every day, ask for honest critique, and then either incorporate that advice or ignore it.
