Why don't you just admit it: You hate the Paris attacks.

You hate how it shows, yet again, that this kind of violence is caused by ISLAMIC extremists. You hate how it has victimized Western, capitalistic culture, making it a teddy bear of sorts, bugging you to no end.

You say “but, but” and frantically search the internet for tragedies that PROVE your world view. “Here!” you say delightedly, and provide a link to a competing tragedy.

Meantime, these crazy motherfuckers are training nonstop to kill you, YOU with your “enlightened” ass-kissy ways.

Do you think they care that you’ve been to college and have been subsequently brain-washed into liberalism (only $80 000 bucks folks! Liberalism on sale! Get it while it’s hot!)?

Do you think they care that you consider yourself “a citizen of the world”?

They want you dead. Period.

And what are YOU gonna do? Hug them?

I don’t know. I got this feeling telling me that ain’t gonna work. You are cute, though.

I’ll give you that.