IWSG: Building a map through murky territory

 Be sure to visit the linky at the Ninja Captain's and sign up if you haven't already. This month's cohosts for the blog hop are Stephen Tremp, Karen Walker, Denise Covey, and Tyrean Martinson!

Insecurities have sort of become a way of life. Not that it’s something we need to spend all of our time trying to hide―to be clear, I think a little airing of the wounds we take on as writers is good for the soul―but at some point I feel like maybe there’s a line we need to draw in the sand and step over. Let me explain:
I’m releasing a book. This has me nervous and more than a little bit anxious. This is totally normal. There’s only one real problem with the nervousness: I want to do this again. Specifically, I want to release a book again in the future.
And if I’m really lucky, I’d like to do it again.
And again.
And again. ETC.
You get the idea. I want to be releasing books until I’m old and grey. And if releasing books turns me into a wreck, well, that’s no good, so it’s time for some new perspectives. I’m trying to remember how I handled all those years of standing up in front of large groups of people when it scared me. How did I get through giving talks at conferences, playing solos in the band, putting on plays? What did I use to survive those?
Is this the same kind of anxiety?
Sort of, but there seems to be this feeling around a book release, the all or nothing feeling. It feels like my whole writing career rests on this one release. Of course, to be fair, I will be judged on this. I know that. I know that people will forever associate my name with this book, so if it flops, well, I might be shopping for a new pen name in a couple of months. But, more likely, this book will be average, giving me an opportunity to try again with the next book. And if that one is average, or fair, I might be lucky enough to try again.
Part of what made the performances so nerve smashing was the idea that it was a one shot chance, and that just isn’t the case with books. I’m not saying ignore the book and do no marketing. I’m saying that even if this book doesn’t break the world record for debut sales, there is almost certainly going to be other opportunities, opportunities that I will need to capitalize on.
So for this one, I’m going to try to do the things that everyone told me to do before a playing in a concert: take a breath. Take a look around at what’s happening, maybe remember some of these sign posts for next time so it’s easier to navigate the sea of misplaced emotions, and enjoy the moment. That’s right, enjoy it. How many times am I going to get to release a book in my life? Hopefully a lot, but there’s no guarantee, so I should probably spend some time actually enjoying it.
Anyhow, that’s what I’m working on this month. How about you?