Relating to extroverted or introverted friends

Amanda, the main character in Is This Me? (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00YIABVKG ), has an introverted personality. She prefers socializing with small groups of people while many of her friends enjoy being with a bigger crowd. Being an introvert myself, I am amazed at friends who are always organizing and attending events with large groups of people. I’m not saying I don’t enjoy these events sometimes. I often feel overwhelmed by the sheer volume of people and energy in a room. So how do can I feel more comfortable with these people? How can I relate to them better?

Whether you’re an introvert trying not to be lost in a sea or conversations or an extrovert trying to pull something out of the person you’re talking to, these tips can help.

For introverts:

1.      Express your needs. If you need a minute to formulate an answer, let the person know.

2.      Expect interruptions. Interruptions are a signal that you are engaging an extrovert. If you can’t stand being interrupted ask the person to stop. Optionally choose to see their interruptions for what they are, an expression of interest.

3.      Be willing to shift gears. When you do feel like being more social, get out there and do it, even if it feels ‘out of character’. Extroverted or introverted, we all have times when we feel more or less so.

For extroverts:

1.      Pause after you pose a question. Introverts may appreciate time to think before answering a question.

2.      Watch for physical cues. If the person is leaning back or looking up it can be an indication that he or she is thinking. Allow them space.

3.      Be mindful of jumping in. Allow the person you are speaking with to fully answer questions or finish the topic they are discussing. Use silences to think about what the person has said and ask follow-up questions before you share your own thoughts.

Reading this article I realized I may not be as introverted as I thought especially when I’m among close friends. I do jump in to a conversation when I am excited about a thought or have a connection with the person speaking. However, with new people or casual acquaintances I tend to be more conservative with my conversation style. My observation leads to another main point in the article: don’t assume or expect a certain type of behavior from someone just because you have pegged them as an introvert or extrovert. Most personality traits have ranges and people fall somewhere on the spectrum between truly introverted and one-percent extroverted. In addition, someone may have a totally different style depending on the situation.

Hope these tips help. If you’d like to read more please follow the links below.

Best,
Tricia

Lost in translation extroverts vs. introverts, published with permission from Elizabeth Millard at
http://www.care2.com/greenliving/lost-in-translation-communication-between-extroverts-and-introverts.html

Original article can be found at Experience Life magazine at https://experiencelife.com/article/lost-in-translation/