Phone Call From Heaven

I saved all of your voice mails

every one of them. So even though

you’re gone I still get to hear your voice.

My mailbox is full and no one

can leave messages because

I knew one day I’d have to live without you

and I wanted to hold onto some part of you.

The messages that make me miss you

the most are the ones

where you don’t even say anything

about loving me. But when you called

just to tell me not to forget to get

milk from the grocery store or to remind me

that you’d be running late for dinner.

They say it’s the little things you miss most

and they were right. I miss all the little things

about you. Your smell, your smile, your touch.

Sometimes I crawl into the back of my closet

and with all the lights turned off

I hold the phone up to my ear

listening for your voice as you speak to me

from heaven. Did you know all along

that one day all I’d have would be your voice?

But then again, how could you have known?

I don’t know. I just know I’m lost without you.

I always tell myself

This time I won’t cry

but the tears begin to fall

long before your voice stops talking

to me. Sometimes I fall asleep

lying on the floor in my closet

where my dreams allow me

to visualize your face while I

listen to your voice talking to me.

I know the voice mails won’t last forever,

nothing ever really does; so one day they’ll be gone

just like you are. You never fully get over losing someone

you once truly loved. You just learn to live despite

their absence and despite the hole in your heart

and in your life. And always you pray that one day

you’ll finally receive a phone call from heaven.

Peace & Love,

Rosalind