An Outlaw with the Inlaws

Dear Rabbi Brody,

My wife's parents don't even bother hiding their dislike of me. Short of saying so to my face, their manners and behavior towards me make me feel like an outlaw. What do I do? Thanks, AC

Dear AC,

If you truly honor and cherish your wife, and you're not stingy with her, then her parents will most certainly take a liking to you. Double-check yourself in these areas.

Drips of water can put a hole in solid rock. Your inlaws aren't firing Kassam rockets at you, so you can make unilateral peace with them. No matter how they react at first, swallow your pride, put your best foot forward, and call them once a week. A sincere "Good Shabbos" greeting scores big points with inlaws. Bolster the weekly calls with holiday, birthday, and anniversary presents, and kill them with kindness. Eventually, they'll see the error of their ways, realize that they've been giving you a bum deal, and will make amends with you. But, you must be patient, perseverent and humble. When The Almighty and your wife are pleased with you, your inlaws will be also.

Meanwhile, by establishing a line of communication with them, you'll be doing a quadruple mitzva of honoring your inlaws (a rabbinical ordinance, and some rabbinical lawgivers consider it a Torah edict), keeping peace, making your wife happy (because she doesn't have to be torn between her folks and her hubby), and avoiding to harbor hate and malice in your heart against them. Hashem won't forget such a major-league grand-slam mitzva. Wait and see, AC - if you take my advice, I'll guarantee you that with Hashem's help, you'll see enhanced blessings all over the place. With best wishes, LB