AWP Ready

Apparently it's snowing somewhere and making it hard to get to AWP, but I'm bound for DC, and I am ready for my AWP experience. I have everything I need:

√A leather bound notebook so that I can write while other people are just talking about writing.

√A laptop to sit in the free Wi-Fi lobby and blog about the conference.

√An odd hat so people will look at me.

√An odd shirt or T-shirt with an odd phrase so that when people are staring straight ahead they'll look at me.

√An odd pair of shoes so that when people are looking down and don't see my hat or shirt they will notice my shoes and look at me.

√Pre-prepared questions/comments (mostly comments) that are so good they will prove that I am smarter than the people on the panel and that I should have been up there in the first place.

√A limber neck so that I can scan the Bookfair as I talk to someone in case there is someone more important I should be talking to.

√Nonalcoholic whiskey to use for shots with other writers who are using actual whiskey so that I can drink them under the table and thus prove I am a better writer.

√My wife--step one in entourage creation.

Away we go.