A Day in the Life

8:12 am
Middle cat walks up my body, kneads my stomach for ten minutes, then settles down to sleep.
I am wide awake and can't move.

8:20 am
Middle cat still sleeping soundly, Eldest cat begins to chirp from en-suite bathroom for water. She will only drink running water.
Thinking of water makes me want to pee.

9:00 am
Have woken Middle cat, gave water to Eldest cat and performed all morning functions.
Hard to believe because I haven't had a coffee yet.

9:05 am
Stumble downstairs and make coffee
Middle an...