“I have this image of myself as the fun friend who is easy...

“I have this image of myself as the fun friend who is easy going, always good for a laugh, and always ready to listen to your problems. But I don’t share my own problems because I’m afraid that my friendship will seem less valuable if I do. I’m afraid that if I’m sad, I’ll seem boring. I don’t want people to start thinking: ‘This isn’t fun anymore.’ Or ‘This isn’t what I signed up for.’ So I tend to shut myself off. I’ll tell you all about my interests and activities. But when it comes to how I’m doing, I don’t like to move beyond ‘I’m fine.’ So I have all sorts of tricks to keep the conversation focused on the other person. I’m a great listener. And I love details: ‘Me? I’m great! But what about you? I seem to remember that you were going to dinner with your sister-in-law last night, right? At the Italian restaurant? Was the linguine better this time? Less crispy?’”