A grateful look back

Note: This post has nothing to do with my books, appearances, or professional updates. Skip if you're only looking for business news.

Around this time four years ago,I blogged about how I went to the Emergency Room with severe chest pain that I thought was a heart attack. EKGs eventually showed that it wasn’t, but then I had to undergo tests and wait a few hours to find out if it was a pulmonary embolism instead. It wasn’t, and although I was incorrectly diagnosed with pleurisy, I later found out that I had suffered an acute case of costochondritis. Thankfully, that wasn’t a life-threatening or debilitating condition, but I will never forget those hours when I didn’t know.

Every once in a while, something will happen that cuts through the camouflage of my busy life to remind me what really matters. Now, subtlety goes right over my head, so I’m not surprised that it took something drastic like thinking I was having a heart attack or a pulmonary embolism to cut through my camouflage. As I waited that night to find out if I had something that could kill me on the spot, I wasn’t worried about any of the anxieties that normally eat up my day. In fact, I was focused on only three things: I wanted more time with my husband, I wanted more time with my family and loved ones, and I needed my faith. Most days, I merely lean on my faith. Some days, I collapse onto it. That was definitely one of those days. When everything else was stripped away and I felt like my next breath was a “maybe” instead of a definite, I had nothing except my faith, and I thank God that it was enough. Not because of me, since I am as flawed a believer as you can find, but it was enough because of Him.

Yes, I still get distracted, worried, and preoccupied by things that, in the grand scheme of things, aren’t really important, but I wanted to pause now and once again give thanks. Why in public, on my blog? I can’t remember when I first read it, but a little section of Luke has always stuck with me. In it, ten lepers ask Jesus to be healed. All ten had their request granted, but while nine ran off, one turned around, went back to Jesus, and thanked him. It seemed like such an obvious thing to do, but the other nine didn't bother, and when I thought about it, I was reminded of all the times I’ve wanted something enough to pray for it, yet if I did get it, how I would often overlook taking the time to express my gratitude. So, approaching the four year anniversary of that day in the ER, this is me turning around, going back to that memory, and again saying thank you. I am more grateful than I can express to still be here to do it, so it sharing the story of my gratitude is also the least that I can do :).