Newsflash: Anyone can like anything

Author Shannon Hale teamed up with Bloomsbury Children’s Books this month to start the campaign #storiesforall. This made me so happy. Shannon gave an amazing talk on the subject of gender when it comes to books at the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators conference this past summer. She is a Newberry honor author and encounters “the boys books versus girls books thing” often. She has an award winning series of books called Princess Academy. She once did a presentation at a schools and learned that the assembly was optional for boys because “you know it’s a ‘girls’ book.” She’s seen the look on boy’s faces who come to her signings and love her books but are afraid to say so. These are also not isolated incidents. And she’s talking about it.
This is a subject that hits close to home for me. Not only with books.
When my eldest daughter started kindergarten we were shopping for school supplies. And she saw a cool metal lunchbox. She had to have it. It was Star Wars. My nerd self was quite proud of her. And she was proud too. She carried it confidently into her class showing anyone she could find her shiny new lunchbox. A month into school I noticed she put princess and My little Pony stickers all over the lunchbox covering the Star Wars graphics. I asked why. She shrugged it off and I left it alone. Then a week or so later she asked if she could get a new lunch box. Why? Because the kids at school told her girls can’t like Star Wars. My stomach sank. And this wasn’t the only incident. “I hate My Little Pony. That’s for girls.” Boys would tell her. “You like Minecraft? But you’re a girl.”
Sigh. Because if you listen carefully. What’s being said is not just: That’s for boys and that’s for girls. There is something else there much more damaging. I also hear: If it’s for girls, it’s not worthy of boys. If it’s for boys, girls are not worthy of it.
Target recently said they would stop separating toys by gender in their stores. There was actual outrage and confusion about this. “ But what will I do???” Here’s my guide I posted on Facebook to help these people out:
Steps to buying toys now that Target is not separating by gender:1.     Go the toy aisles2.     Have the child pick out what they like
End of instructions
Oh you’re shopping for a gift and feel completely lost without the gender labeling?1.     Go to the toy aisles2.     Think about what they’re interests are (Don’t know? Ask!)3.     Buy something you think they will likeEnd of instructions.

I worked in the children’s section of a bookstore for a while (loved it!) and I saw gender separation quite often. Heck we even had tables filled with books labeled: Books for Boys and Books for Girls. Many parents didn’t think their boys would want a book with a female protagonist. Although for girls I noticed it was fine for them to like a book with either a male or female protagonist. Back then when I was bookseller. I didn’t think much of it. After all those gender roles had been in place since I was little. We are taught that from a young age. I’ve heard, “Ew that’s for girls” more then once. (Girls say the same about boy stuff too. But not often when it comes to books or even toys for that matter.) And do sometimes girls gravitate toward some books and boys to others? Sure they do. But after hearing Shannon’s talk the gravity of perpetuating this mindset, set in and became distressing.
Because what that is teaching boys is that girls are not worthy to be their heroes.
Shannon said something to this effect and it shook me to my core. And as a bookseller I think I was part of the problem for a time. I know sometimes when asked for recommendation I would go the easy direction. Who’s the gift for? A boy? Okay how about this… Although in my defense I have recommended the heck out of Tamora Pierce’s Alanna series for boys. I wish I had done more. I wish I didn’t even ask if the child was a boy or a girl. I wish I just asked what their interests were.
Books teach empathy. It’s one of the reasons why I write them. Maybe if a straight person read a book about a gay person, there might be less bullying. Maybe if a boy read a book with a strong female protagonist, they might believe strong women matter, exist and should be respected. Maybe if a white kid read a book about a black kid, there would be less racism. To see yourself in a book is a wonderful and important thing. But to read about people different then you is also imperative. Because you begin to find in these books something past the obvious difference. You find similarities. You find compassion. You find understanding.
My daughter picking out any book she wants.

Gender roles are taught to my kids in school, really everywhere. It’s inevitable. I think, most of the time, it’s not meant in a malicious way. But anytime I can, I tell them: You can like anything. Anyone can like anything. You can do anything.
And this is not a hard concept for my kids to learn. “But make up is for girls right mom?” Zoe asks me. A lot of girls like make up yes. But nope. Anyone can wear it. “Even boys?” Even boys. “Really?” Really. She nods, accepts and walks away.

   Thank you to Shannon Hale to opening my eyes to this. I will continue to educate myself and spread the message. #storiesforall

To see more please check out Shannon Hale’s Tumblr. #storiesforall