When to Make Your Own Rules

Listen, I am a big rule follower. I think it’s essential that we don’t drink and drive and that we shouldn’t beat on others, or chew with our mouths open, for that matter.

But, if the rules you abide by don’t bring you peace. If they seem arbitrary and hurtful. If they leave you feeling trapped and limited – you know rules like no wearing white after Labor Day and girls can’t play football, drums, or otherwise rule the world. Rules that state crazy, painful absolutes like you can’t make a living from your art or that love hurts, or that you are not worthy because you are bigger than a size six, didn’t have a nice mother, and have a 20-year-old car then, pick new rules.

Seriously, people.

Pick. New. Rules.

Pick New Rules

I’ve been thinking about this all week, you guys, because I hate to be told what to do and yet, in the process of publishing my latest book, I was given a lot of rules to follow. Publishing Rules. Marketing Rules. Social Media Rules.

It was suggested to me that I should be doing certain things and that other people would be doing certain things and please just don’t get in the way of their things. Don’t cross contaminate.

But, when those certain things did not happen, I began to fret. There were things I wanted to try, get done, take charge of, but, silly me, I also didn’t want to be a difficult rule-breaker. For a blink, I believed I had to do what I was told by people who don’t even know me.

That is, until I realized:

1) No one would be hurt, if I broke, say just one of these little rules of publishing.

2) The rules (many of them at least) are baloney.

So, I decided to make my own rules. Do it my way. And let me tell you what, sometimes I was stupid about it, as my failures reminded me. But, within about five minutes of not going along to get along, I also succeeded gloriously.

And in EVERY case, I felt better, truer, more authentic, more engaged in my life. Every Single Time.

Make Your Own Rules

So here are the new rules.

Don’t hurt anyone.
Be kind always, no matter.
Rewrite all other rules, on an as needed basis.

So far, these are working a lot better for me.