I’m so vain, I probably think this post is about me.

What is it with all the hair as one gets older? Knuckles, knees, I remove my shirt and look like I’m wearing a sweater. My pubes have become brambles, brambles so dense and so thick my manhood is lost and from a distance I look like a 70s era female porn star. Hair growing out of my ears so greedily I swear I can hear a soft rustling. Hair coming out of my nose, blending in with my mustache.

One must be vigilant!

I have thought about letting my nosehair grow, though. Letting it grow real long, past my chin, then braiding it. Maybe braided nosehair will become a new thing. I could be a trendsetter and the coolness that has been so elusive in my life will finally be mine.

Hey, it couldn’t look any sillier than those plugs people put in their earlobes these days.