Retirement- Ding, dong or Ditch?

Blue sky, yellow sun, and red and orange leaves all provide the backdrop for the Hallowe’en season in northeast Ohio. In my neighborhood, the scarecrows and skeletons are emerging from their hideouts in basements and back closets. The hay bales, pumpkins and white stretchy spider webs festoon the porches and bushes.

Our autumn stage set is ready for the main players, the costumed stars of Beggar’s Night. We light the jack o’lanterns and give candy to the mini vampires and princesses every year on October 31. From six o’clock to eight o’clock we grab the witch’s cauldron of candy when we hear “Trick or Treat”.

After eight o’clock in the evening, the evening takes on a chillier and spookier air. That’s when the older creatures of the night take over and haunt us with Ding, Dong, Ditch. The spirits sneak to our front door, ring the door bell…we answer with a “Trick or…” that fades from our lips as we behold nothing but the blackness. If we pause and listen, we might hear a few rustles and giggles. (Note to the neighborhood kids- yes, they are scary giggles!)

My husband gets annoyed with Ding, Dong Ditch, but I tell him that it’s thrilling for the youngsters to creep to a door, ring the bell, and make a fast getaway. The other morning, over our coffee, I reminded him that we used to feel the same way about another scary word, retirement.

What do you think about retirement? Do you want to Ding, Dong, or Ditch your Golden Years?

Some parts of retirement merit a happy Ding-
• Sleeping in and waking up naturally
• Traveling in the off season or on the spur of the moment

But some parts of retirement deliver a clanky Dong-
• Sensing that by ten o’clock in the morning, Hubs and I have run out of conversation
• Hearing the waitresses call me Honey

And there are a few parts of retirement that I want to Ditch-
• Waking up in the night wondering about illness and death
• Realizing that we our fun may exceed our retirement money, should we have saved more?

Did retirement frighten you? How did you make it something you enjoyed rather than something you dreaded? Don’t let ding dong ditch or retirement continue to haunt you.