"I’m sorry you were a coward.I know how sharp that sounds,but even now I have dreams where Islip..."

“I’m sorry you were a coward.

I know how sharp that sounds,

but even now I have dreams where I

slip under your skin; I paint cherry red on my lips

and think of leaving it on your hipbones

like a map of all the ways to leave you breathless.

I think of kissing a concerto of you.

I think of making us breakfast,

but only when I’m lonely.

And that isn’t fair to either of us. Still -

I’ve been having dreams about your mouth lately.

I swear, some of my dreams are innocent,

but I don’t wake up crying from the dreams

where you take my clothes off, so I’d rather

talk about those instead.

As much as I wish there wasn’t,

there’s still some part that’s just

a little bit in love and she wants

to road trip up to see you. She’s

packaging kisses to send through FedEx.

She forgets the hard parts:

how I was always making room

for all the creaking clanking aches in you

and smuggling my own out the window.

If this wasn’t going to work anyway,

I’m sorry that you’re sorry. Because

I would never be this heartsick for a boy

who meant to hurt me, but of course

you did it unwittingly. You’re just

a clumsy wrong step in a long line

of blundered feelings, so I’m never going

to be able to hate you for it.

In my dreams you are still so soft.

I would have been happy to love you for it.”

-

TROUBLE IS, YOU’RE STILL EXACTLY THE PERSON I FELL IN LOVE WITH, Ashe Vernon (via latenightcornerstore)

This poem is available in my second book, Wrong Side of a Fistfight!