Denial is not just a river in Egypt

Whenever I think about this incident, I've never referred to it as abuse. I've always said I was a willing participant. I forget how old I was – somewhere between 8 and 12. Of course now I know that I couldn't have given consent. And that it was most definitely abuse.

Anyways, this incident was with a cousin. It pretty much involved lots of kissing and exploration. While we never went all the way, it still should have never happened. Back then my lips would be swollen and when asked about it, I'd say I ran into the wall.

When I think about it, I sometimes try to convince myself it never happened, but I still remember the smells associated with said memory. So it did. No matter how much I try to deny it. And even now, as I write this, I still feel some sort of shame.

I don't know if I have any lasting effects from it. I do know I have difficulty letting people in. So who knows?

Anyways, thanks Cole for this opportunity.