Saturday Snippet
Ooo…today is all about fights. I was actually torn between putting up an excerpt of the bar brawl in Spitfire or this one. In in the end, Saturday Night Special's food fight won out. It was a bit more fun! Saturday Night Special is part of the Wild Irish series and my first serious attempt at writing romantic comedy.
Excerpt:
Riley watched the three unsuspecting people jostling for food position at the bar and then glanced back at Bella and Trevor, so wrapped up in their argument they didn't see World War III descending on them.
She giggled. She couldn't help it. "Wow. This is gonna be so funny."
"Dammit, Riley. Do not start laughing. We've got five mentally unstable people here."
"Think we should evacuate the building?" She laughed harder at her joke, but Aaron continued to scowl.
"You distract them while I go over and tell Trev and Bella to get the hell out of here."
Riley nodded her agreement, unable to speak as her laughter bubbled over to the boiling point. Jesus. She really couldn't stop laughing and tears began to stream over her cheeks. Whether it was exhaustion, frustration or the fact that her entire being had been on overload since her drunken elopement to Aaron, she felt all the stress and craziness of the past two days escaping in uncontrollable laughter.
"What's so funny?" Bubbles asked.
Riley couldn't speak to answer. Instead she snorted and laughed harder. Putting up one finger, she fought hard to catch her breath. Aaron was shaking his head, but she could see he was fighting back his own laughter. They were screwed. They both knew it.
"S-s-sorry," she gasped, taking a deep breath. "Got the giggles there."
Aaron nodded, his face breaking into a wide grin. "I can see that. Let the cards fall where they may?"
Riley shrugged and agreed. "Our offensive line sucks. Time to switch to defensive maneuvers."
Bubbles was staring at them oddly. "What?"
"Nothing," Aaron said as the occasional odd giggle continued to escape Riley's lips. "Let's just eat."
"What the fuck is she doing here?" Bubbles' tone and angry question alerted Riley that she'd finally spotted her nemesis.
"That didn't take long," Riley muttered. The fury in her new friend's eyes quickly dispelled the humor she'd been feeling. Shit. She wasn't sure their defense was going to be strong enough.
"Bubbles," Riley said, standing up and stepping in front of the woman when she started toward Bella's table. "Listen. I need you to sit and calm down. Going over there right now isn't going to solve anything."
"Of course it will," Bubbles screeched. "Me rearranging that cunt's face will solve everything."
Bubbles sidestepped Riley and stalked across the room.
"Uh-oh." Aaron was looking at the food bar. Johanna and Johnny had also caught sight of their prey and were crossing the room, food trays in hand, to confront them.
Riley threw up her hands. "Let's go."
She and Aaron rushed over to Bella and Trev's table. The couple was no longer arguing and instead looked shell-shocked as they were surrounded by the enemy on three sides.
"Jo?" Trev asked stupidly.
Bella burst into tears when she saw her ex. "Johnny!"
For a brief moment, Riley foolishly thought they may be all right. They'd all sit down like rational, civilized people and things would work out. Bubbles dashed that hope with one swing of her tray. She dumped all her food onto an unsuspecting Bella's lap. Bella hissed like a wet cat, picking up her glass of iced tea and tossing the liquid in Bubbles' face.
Unfortunately, Riley had chosen to stand a little too closely to Bubbles and half the liquid covered her as well.
"Dammit, Bella," Riley said. "I was supposed to be in Vegas for two days. I didn't pack enough clothes for you to start tossing shit on—"
Her words died when a snowball of mashed potatoes struck her mid-chest.
"Oops," Trev said. "I was aiming for that crazy woman." He pointed at Bubbles, who was now chucking rolls and food from their table and surrounding ones like a soldier lobs grenades. Trev raised his hand in an attempt to dodge the bread and French fries raining down on him. "Make her stop throwing shit, Riley!"
Riley turned to block Bubbles' view of the table, reaching to grab the woman's hands. "Bubbles, stop it! The manager is gonna call the cops. Do you want to go to jail?"
"I want that bitch to stand up and fight me, fair and square."
"Who you callin' a bitch?" Bella shouted from the table. Before Riley could turn, she felt something very cold and slimy hit her back and begin sliding down her T-shirt.
"What the hell?" She turned around to find Bella dipping her spoon into a bowl of ice cream, preparing to launch more of her hot fudge sundae.
"Put it down," Riley said. Bella paused for a moment. "Put. It. Down."
Riley started to yell at Aaron for not stepping in to help her but one glance to her left proved he was fighting his own losing battle. He had his arms wrapped around Johanna from behind as the woman flailed about, attempting to batter Trev with her purse, her fists, her feet. Trev was pleading with her to calm down, his hands constantly moving, alternating between covering his face and his privates. She was putting up one helluva fight.
The sound of sirens outside had the effect of someone dousing them with a hose, and the fight went out of them. Jo hung limply in Aaron's arms. Bella put her hands in her lap and Bubbles sank into a chair at another table.
Two policemen came in and the manager pointed at them.
"Great," Riley heard one of the cops mutter as they walked up. "Bubbles and Bella. Again. What did we do to deserve this?"
Saturday Night Special is available at Ellora's Cave, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Sony, and All Romance Ebooks.
