How Do You Display Strength

By Joan Lunden, TV Personality & Health Advocate

Throughout Breast Cancer Awareness Month, we hear the word “strength” used a lot, and it started to make me think, “What is strength exactly and how is it displayed?”

Is strength when you take the world on as a hero? Is it being stoic and independent? Is it not crying when something hurts you?

Or, might it be the exact opposite?

I have come to think that strength might be best displayed when you DO allow yourself to cry… when you find the emotional muscles and confidence to allow yourself to “feel” without perceiving yourself as weak. I don’t think strength is taking on the world alone or feeling like independence is almighty and holy, but rather observing the need for more than just yourself; understanding that there’s power in community and feeling comfortable asking for help. These are the moments for me that take strength.

I am a “doer.” I always have been. I tend to take on a lot, both in my career and in my personal life, and I sometimes make the mistake that I should be able do it all on my own. For me, it takes strength to ask for help and to accept the offer from others. It is a skill that I have had to exercise, just like a bicep muscle, to get stronger and better at using.

When I was going through my breast cancer treatment, I often thought, “I need to be strong for my family,” when in reality all they really wanted was to be there for me to authentically feel, and they were happy to allow me to truly FEEL in their comforting company. And let me tell you… that took strength for me. But once I understood that I was strong enough to be vulnerable in front of my loved ones, I felt better, stronger, and more equipped to face my fears and my disease head-on.

I think there is strength in owning our vulnerabilities, succumbing to those vulnerabilities, and understanding the power in numbers. Allowing people to help you can sometimes be antithetical to what we perceive as strength, especially among us women! But if there’s one thing that this past year of going through chemotherapy, radiation and surgery has taught me – it’s the power in allowing yourself to ask for help and support.

Strength can be defined in many ways by many people, and for me it was found in the unexpected. Often, challenging times bring out new characteristics both in ourselves and in those around us – you just have to find the strength to recognize them.

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