How to Work with a Difficult Colleague

Same argument, different day?

You are in a meeting and you just know that your colleague is going to bring up a point that you absolutely do not agree with. In fact, they seem to do this all of the time. This individual just knows what to say and how to say it to make you go 0 to 60 in .5 seconds. It is almost as if they enjoy watching you become frustrated, annoyed and put off.

When you are around this individual, you always feel that you are moments away from an unprofessional exchange or outburst. You have tried relentlessly to make peace with them, but your efforts have not been successful.

What do you do?

Here are some thoughts on how to manage your relationship with this seemingly difficult individual:

Hold yourself accountable. Is it them, or could it be you? If you find yourself in constant conflict with individuals, then it’s time to explore how you can control your emotions to improve your interpersonal relationships.
Know what you can control. You can’t make difficult individuals less difficult. You can’t compel people to change. You can, however, change your response to them. When you feel that you are being baited into an argument, develop the discipline to not take the bait.
Don’t cry over something that won’t cry over you. This difficult individual probably isn’t thinking about you in their spare moments. However, are you carrying around emotional baggage from an exchange that you had a week ago? If so, it’s time to let it go. Your emotions are valuable – they should be spent on relationships where they will be reciprocated.
Ensure discretion. It might feel good in the moment to vent about your difficult colleague, but think of the long-term ramifications. Your desire to emote might impact your desire to be viewed as a leader in your environment. Discretion is the better form of valor.

By being accountable and developing the discipline to put your relationship in perspective, you’ll discover time to dedicate to being an influential and inspirational leader.

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