Once upon a time there was a mortician and one evening a body arrived at his funeral home.

The body was set to be cremated and as per usual with cremation cases, the mortician examined the body to make sure there were no prosthetics or metal jewelry, etc. Occasionally, a family might request something being cremated along with the loved one’s remains, a wedding ring, say, but the mortician would only do this upon request.

Removing the sheet, the mortician noted that the deceased man’s limbs were natural and that he wore no jewelry. He also noted the man’s penis, which was vast. Never before had the mortician seen such a vast penis, and he had been in the business for years.

It was truly a remarkable sight.

Feeling that such a penis should be preserved and not incinerated, the mortician did something unethical. He got out his tools and carefully removed it. He weighed it, amazed by its 3 pounds and 4 ounces. He then placed the penis in a jar, a very big jar, and preserved it with some embalming fluid. He then took it home, where he decided to show his wife.

“Oh, my God!” she screamed, as he sat the very big jar containing the very big penis on the kitchen counter. “Eric’s dead!”

She fell to her knees, sobbing.