POSEIDON

One of the big three (Zeus, Poseidon and Hades, the brothers among whom the world’s domains were divided). Poseidon got the oceans, the seas, and everything in them.

Oh yeah, he carries a big ole stick, which may or may not be compensating for something else pokey he’s constitutionally incapable of keeping in his pants…or fishtail, depending on the representation. Only the trident is three-pronged, and word has it his dinghy is a little more…traditional.

In Rick Riordan’s excellent Percy Jackson series, Poseidon was the boy’s father. You can see a whole list of his purported conquests and progeny at the end of his Wiki entry. Yeah, it was ages ago, but good gossip never grows old.

Poseidon is often given the epithet Earth-Shaker, because when he goes into one of his rages, he can cause the earth to quake, the seas to surge, ships to wreck…. He’s the god who caused such trouble for Odysseus and his men on their way back from the Trojan War (as revenge for blinding his son, the cyclops Polyphemus, who would otherwise have eaten them). Sailors often made offerings and worshiped Poseidon to get on his good side and smooth their way.

He could be creative as well as destructive. Word is, he created horses as a way to impress Demeter. Also, that she hid out as one of them trying (and failing) to escape his attentions. He also made many other animals along the way trying for just the right one to turn her head.

His battle with Athena over the patronage of Athens is the stuff of myth and led to so many things, like the sad downfall of my ancestress, Medusa.

Aliases: Neptune, Possibly Yamm, but…