Do I have to?

In all of Customer Service, one phrase should be stricken from every representative’s vocabulary:

“You’ll have to …”

It’s usually followed by something like this:

wait in line
hold for a technician
fill out a form
start over
call back later
provide a receipt
… and so on

Childhood habits persist long into adulthood, often longer than we would like to admit. The first reaction most of us have to You’ll have to … is resistance. When we were children, authority figures (parents or teachers, for example) told us you’ll have to eat your vegetables, brush your teeth, do your homework, stay after school, or stop punching your sister. Most of us thought, even if we didn’t say it, Do I have to? or You gonna make me?

Part of being a mature adult is learning that we do indeed have to do many things we don’t like. Obey speed limits, pay our income taxes, put our trash bins away after collection day, and—yes—wait in line. But we do many of them grudgingly, muttering complaints under our breath. The desire to protest or resist is a natural feeling.

So why would you want to alienate anyone by saying, “You’ll have to …” anything? This advice is for DMV clerks, postal workers, IRS representatives, airport gate agents, receptionists, PTA committee chairmen, and virtually everyone else:

You can rephrase most negative statements in a positive way.

Try it. It makes all the difference.

We’ll serve you as soon as we can.
One of our technicians will help you in just a few minutes.
We need some information—here’s a form for you.
Let’s take this from the top.
The person you need to speak with will be in tomorrow.
Let’s see if we can verify your purchase.

Authority figure language puts us on guard and engages the prepare-to-fight-back response. So I’m not going to tell you that you’ll have to follow my suggestion.

You might ask me:

Do I have to do it?

No.

Are you going to make me?

No.

What happens if I don’t?

You’ll have to find out.

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