For the record, I am very much pro-immigrant

The position of some in my party (I’m a life-long Republican) confuses me.

I mean, we have a person who STRUGGLES to come here. How is that not a good thing?

First of all, they have excellent taste in countries. The only people who wanna go to Canada are those who have relatives there or who can’t get into America.

It’s like college. You have your preference and you have your back-up. Canada is back-up.

These people not only have excellent taste in countries, they’ll work for peanuts. They will clean semen off motel room walls for two bucks an hour. Most Americans wouldn’t even nap for less than $2.50 an hour.

There have always been immigrants in this country and there has always been bitching about them. The first were the Irish. Over in Ireland, back in the 1800s, they decided that it would be a good idea to only grow one crop. It would be THE crop. They would use it to feed everyone. In short, agriculturally speaking, they put all their eggs in one basket.

Well, one season (and a dozen seasons thereafter), the potato crop failed. The Irish came here, to America, as starving refugees. And because this is America YOU CAN’T JUST PUT UP A WALL AND KEEP PEOPLE OUT.

They oozed in. They were hated, discriminated against. Much of it was religious in those days. The Irish refugees were Catholic and pretty much all of America in those days was Protestant.

And you know what? We absorbed those pathetic Irish losers and we’re better for it.

Today, in 2015, the people STRUGGLING to get here happen to be, by and large, darker of skin. Hispanic. Asian. African. Middle Eastern.

The only people going to Europe are going there because it’s closest. Fucking ASK them.

Everybody in the world, still, wants to come to America.

I don’t know, but as an American, I am proud of that.

I see it as an honor and certainly something we shouldn’t be a dick about.

In Europe, the government will actually send someone to your house to suck your dick and give you $500. It was Bernie Sanders idea.

And where does everyone wanna go nevertheless?

Stand up straight, motherfuckers. We have company!